Are codependents capable of love?

A codependent relationship can look like love, but it isn't. Love is predicated on choice, the choice to support and care for another. If you are dependent on another person for your emotional security and welfare, then the relationship is no longer based on love. Instead, it is based on need.

Can codependents truly love?

Codependency is not true love. It is a love addiction that can destroy your relationship and destroy you as a person. By becoming aware of the pitfalls of codependency, you've already taken the first step towards a healthy relationship with your partner.

Do codependents fall in love quickly?

While it might sound like a counterdependent would be the least likely to rush into love, it will be very intense codependent types who can convince you to give love a whirl in the first place. In their need to have you trust them, codependents can manipulate things into going very fast.

What kind of partners do codependents attract?

Codependents seek out partners whom they can save and get drowned in taking care of their partners while never being taken care of themselves. Like a pair of dysfunctional puzzle pieces perfectly fitting together floating across a sea of misery, codependents attract those who desire caregivers and enablers (vampires).

What do codependents crave?

Instead of praise, codependents often crave gratitude and a sense of “being needed.” Almost everyone wants to feel loved or important. Narcissism and codependency are two strategies to achieve that goal. However, both conditions can create an excessive reliance on others' approval.

7 Signs of Codependency, not Authentic Love

What makes codependents happy?

The codependent is only happy when making extreme sacrifices for their partner. They feel they must be needed by this other person to have any purpose. Dependent: Both parties make their relationship a priority, but can find joy in outside interests, other friends, and hobbies.

What kind of trauma causes codependency?

Childhood trauma is often a root cause of codependency. They don't always result, but for many people codependent relationships are a response to unaddressed past traumas. One reason may be that childhood trauma is usually family-centered: abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or even just divorce and fighting.

Who do codependents marry?

Within a codependent marriage, one partner has extreme emotional or physical needs, and the other partner is willing to do whatever it takes to meet those needs. The codependent is so in love, and they want that love reciprocated.

Do codependents move on quickly?

Codependents often have a particularly difficult time moving on after a break-up or the end of a relationship. Even when you know it was a dysfunctional or unhealthy relationship, you cant seem to let go and move forward with your life.

Are codependents Empaths?

Empaths can have codependent tendencies but not all codependents are empaths. The difference is that empaths absorb the stress, emotions, and physical symptoms of others, something not all codependents do.

Do I love him or am I just codependent?

A codependent relationship can look like love, but it isn't. Love is predicated on choice, the choice to support and care for another. If you are dependent on another person for your emotional security and welfare, then the relationship is no longer based on love. Instead, it is based on need.

What are the two sides to a codependent relationship?

There are two opposing roles that each person in a codependent relationship typically plays: the giver and the taker, says Burn.

Are codependents needy?

Codependents are needy, demanding, and submissive. They suffer from abandonment anxiety and, to avoid being overwhelmed by it, they cling to others and act immaturely. These behaviors are intended to elicit protective responses and to safeguard the "relationship" with their companion or mate upon whom they depend.

Why do codependents obsess?

Codependent individuals obsess about our relationships because they distract us from being alone with ourselves and give us a place where we can replicate the meaning-making activities of our childhood, including care-taking, self-sacrifice, and martyrdom.

What are codependents afraid of?

Codependent fears

As a result, codependents tend to fear rejection, criticism, not being good enough, failure, conflict, vulnerability, and being out of control. So, situations and people that trigger these fears can spike our anxiety.

Is codependent love unconditional?

Unconditional love is not codependency

Your partner shouldn't rely on you to meet all of their emotional needs. Ultimately, each person is responsible for their own happiness. An unhealthy emotional reliance like this is actually codependency, not unconditional love.

Why are breakups so hard for codependents?

Break-ups are also hard for codependents because they can trigger: Feelings of shame or being defective or inadequate. Fears of being unlovable. Memories of being rejected or abandoned.

How do codependents heal?

Healing codependency involves: 1) Untangling yourself from other people, 2) Owning your part, 3) Getting to know yourself, and 4) Loving yourself.

How does a codependent feel after a breakup?

Therapist and codependency recovery expert Ross Rosenberg writes that, for the codependent person, a breakup causes pathological loneliness, which is “excruciating painful and is experienced physically, emotionally, existentially, and spiritually.

Do codependents act like victims?

The codependent is a double-victim. They face the toxicity of their partner's behavior. This is compounded by their own self-sabotaging reactions and inability to leave environments that further deepen their insecurities.

Are codependents liars?

Lying to themselves and making excuses for others' bad behavior: Because codependents do not deal directly with their feelings, they develop techniques to lie to themselves about others' behaviors.

Are codependents jealous?

People in codependent partnerships typically have low self-esteem and therefore become threatened by other relationships their partner has with friends and family, for example, says Miller. That breeds lots of jealousy and resentment...which they tend to keep bottled up, since revealing it can rock the relationship.

Do codependents fear abandonment?

The fear of abandonment is a core issue in codependency. It works both sides of the fence–the addict is typically afraid of abandonment, too. Fear of abandonment is a chief motivating factor in the behavior of codependents. It is often difficult to see this clearly.

What is the root of codependency?

Codependency is usually rooted in childhood. Often, a child grows up in a home where their emotions are ignored or punished. This emotional neglect can give the child low self-esteem and shame. They may believe their needs are not worth attending to.

What personality type is codependent?

In a codependent relationship, there is usually one person who is more passive and can't make decisions for themselves, and a more dominant personality who gets some reward and satisfaction from controlling the other person and making decisions about how they will live.”