Are codependents defensive?

One of the most common defense mechanisms for codependents with addiction is to enter into a state of denial. Denial can be practical, and everyone engages in some form of denial to avoid emotionally distressful situations.


Do codependents get angry?

Codependents have a lot of anger they don't know how to manage it effectively. They're frequently partner with people who contribute less than they do, who break promises and commitments, violate their boundaries, or disappointment or betray them.

Is a codependent person controlling?

In fact, control is one of the defining characteristics of codependency, whether it has to do with controlling oneself or others. Since codependents struggle with empowering themselves and being assertive, they tend to seek control and power from external sources in order to feel good.


Why do codependents struggle with boundaries?

Low self-esteem and self-worth – if you are codependent, you have a low sense of self-worth and self-esteem. This makes it difficult to see yourself as worthy of the respect of others, which makes it a challenge to be able to set these boundaries and then follow through on consequences if they are followed.

What are some signs of codependent behavior?

Signs of codependency include:
  • Difficulty making decisions in a relationship.
  • Difficulty identifying your feelings.
  • Difficulty communicating in a relationship.
  • Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself.
  • Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem.


8 Signs You May Be Codependent



Who are codependents attracted to?

Codependents seek out partners whom they can save and get drowned in taking care of their partners while never being taken care of themselves. Like a pair of dysfunctional puzzle pieces perfectly fitting together floating across a sea of misery, codependents attract those who desire caregivers and enablers (vampires).

What personality type is codependent?

Codependency is defined as behavior in a relationship that is extreme and one-sided with the goal of helping or pleasing the other person in the relationship. An individual with codependency needs to be needed and will go to great lengths to sacrifice their own needs and wants in favor of the other person's.

What are codependents afraid of?

Codependent fears

As a result, codependents tend to fear rejection, criticism, not being good enough, failure, conflict, vulnerability, and being out of control. So, situations and people that trigger these fears can spike our anxiety.


What attachment style do codependents have?

Anxious attachment is what is most often referred to as codependent. Those with anxious attachment often feel as though they would like to be close to others or one person in particular but they worry that another person may not want to be close to them. They struggle with feeling inferior, never good enough.

Can codependents be manipulative?

The codependent manipulates themselves as well. Their need for perfection keeps them going in order to avoid failure. They often have two speeds: all or nothing. Manipulating Others – Their desire for perfection often seeps onto others.

Do codependents act like victims?

The codependent is a double-victim. They face the toxicity of their partner's behavior. This is compounded by their own self-sabotaging reactions and inability to leave environments that further deepen their insecurities.


Are codependents narcissistic?

People with narcisissm can also be codependent

People who have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can also experience codependency, due to the attention they're getting from their relationship. Since both conditions are rooted in an unhealthy reliance on other people, it's common to have overlap.

Why are codependents so needy?

Codependents are needy, demanding, and submissive. They suffer from abandonment anxiety and, to avoid being overwhelmed by it, they cling to others and act immaturely. These behaviors are intended to elicit protective responses and to safeguard the "relationship" with their companion or mate upon whom they depend.

Are codependents passive aggressive?

Recognizing Passive Aggressive Behavior

A passive aggressive person often is codependent – suffering from low self-esteem, unable to express their own anger. They fear being controlled by others and having their weaknesses exposed, and will therefore sabotage whatever your wants, needs, or plans are.


Can codependents be mean?

It is also known as “relationship addiction” because people with codependency often form or maintain relationships that are one-sided, emotionally destructive and/or abusive.

Do codependents move on quickly?

Codependents often have a particularly difficult time moving on after a break-up or the end of a relationship. Even when you know it was a dysfunctional or unhealthy relationship, you cant seem to let go and move forward with your life.

What kind of trauma causes codependency?

Childhood trauma is often a root cause of codependency. They don't always result, but for many people codependent relationships are a response to unaddressed past traumas. One reason may be that childhood trauma is usually family-centered: abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or even just divorce and fighting.


Are codependents people pleasers?

Is codependency the same as people-pleasing? You can have people-pleasing tendencies and still not be codependent. “All codependent people are people pleasers, but not all people pleasers are codependent,” says Kate Engler, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Skokie, Illinois.

What are the two sides to a codependent relationship?

There are two opposing roles that each person in a codependent relationship typically plays: the giver and the taker, says Burn.

How do codependents deal with anger?

Codependents don't know how to handle their anger. Some explode, criticize, blame, or say hurtful things they later regret. Others hold it in and say nothing in. They please or withdraw to avoid conflict, but stockpile resentments.


Are codependents Empaths?

Empaths can have codependent tendencies but not all codependents are empaths. The difference is that empaths absorb the stress, emotions, and physical symptoms of others, something not all codependents do.

Are codependents jealous?

People in codependent partnerships typically have low self-esteem and therefore become threatened by other relationships their partner has with friends and family, for example, says Miller. That breeds lots of jealousy and resentment...which they tend to keep bottled up, since revealing it can rock the relationship.

What are 5 to 10 characteristics of a codependent person?

Codependents often...
  • Believe people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
  • Attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel.
  • Freely offer advice and direction without being asked.
  • Become resentful when others decline their help or reject their advice.
  • Lavish gifts and favors on those they want to influence.


Who do codependents marry?

Within a codependent marriage, one partner has extreme emotional or physical needs, and the other partner is willing to do whatever it takes to meet those needs. The codependent is so in love, and they want that love reciprocated.

Are codependent people clingy?

Is Codependency the Same Thing as Clinginess? Codependency refers to the state of needing to have another person validate you, depend upon you, and make sacrifices for you to prove their love to you. It's a dysfunctional relationship pattern that may involve clinginess when your partner isn't there.