How do I calm my nerves before a funeral?

How do I cope with anxiety at a funeral?
  1. Find a safe space at the service.
  2. Reach out to others, and find a support partner.
  3. Think of this as a way to celebrate your loved one's life.
  4. Accept that no one will judge you for how much emotion you show.
  5. Speak to a funeral director about how you're feeling.


Why am I so nervous to go to a funeral?

Funeral anxiety can stem from many different issues, including social anxiety which can make you feel uncomfortable when asked to deliver a eulogy or play another important role in the funeral. You may feel uncomfortable expressing your emotions around people that you haven't seen for a long time.

How do you mentally prepare for a funeral?

Nurture your senses: listen to music or the sounds that abound in nature. Engage in prayer or meditation: tap into, or get reacquainted with, your spiritual side. Reduce your list of necessary activities and chores: now is the time to delegate tasks to others, so you can devote your time to self-care.


What's the hardest part of a funeral?

Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.

What should you not say at a funeral?

Here are some examples of what NOT to say at a funeral:

S/he has had a long meaningful life. Don't worry too much, you will be fine. I have been through this, and I'm sure you too can be fine. Look on the bright side, she is in a better place now.


Jordan Peterson - Be The Reliable Person at a Funeral



How do you control your emotions at a funeral?

A Few Tips for Dealing with Your Emotions
  1. Don't bottle them up. Let yourself feel what you feel.
  2. Realize and accept that your emotions are complex.
  3. Find a way to express yourself.
  4. Give yourself time to grieve and process. ...
  5. If you need additional help, consider joining a grief support group or visiting a grief therapist.


When should you not go to a funeral?

Here's when it may be okay to skip the funeral service: If your presence will upset the close family of the deceased. If you're not close to the deceased or their family. If the event is not open to the public.

Why do they cover mirrors when someone dies?

In parts of Germany and in Belgium, it was long customary to cover mirrors with a white cloth because it was thought that if a person saw his or her image in a mirror after a death in the household, that person would die shortly.


What is the fear of funerals called?

Necrophobia is a specific phobia of death, or things associated with it, such as funerals, coffins and graveyards. Most of the time, however, our worries and nerves are linked to other things such as social anxiety or difficulty expressing emotion.

How long should you stay at a funeral?

You need not stay long; fifteen minutes gives you enough time to express your sympathy and offer your support. Of course, if the bereaved indicates they would like you to remain for a while, take your cue from them and stay longer. Use your own judgment.

How do you not cry at a funeral?

Blink rapidly

This is a way to clear up any tears, but won't just stop them from rolling down your face. You'll also keep them from forming. If you're unable to blink rapidly, try blinking slowly. If you open your eyes wide, you can cut off the flow of tears before they start.


How do you get through a funeral speech without crying?

Tips for Getting Through a Funeral Speech
  1. Look at your speech like an opportunity. ...
  2. Preparation is key. ...
  3. Listen to your heart. ...
  4. Don't worry about getting emotional. ...
  5. Have a glass of water and some tissues handy. ...
  6. Memorise parts of the speech. ...
  7. Think about eye contact. ...
  8. Don't rush through it.


How do you talk to a funeral without crying?

How do you talk at a funeral without crying?
  1. Give Yourself Time to Practice.
  2. Find a Supportive Person Ahead.
  3. Eat Before Giving the Speech.
  4. Remember to Take Deep Breaths.
  5. Keep Your Eyes on the Prize.


What is the most comforting thing to say at a funeral?

“I'm so sorry about your loss. [The deceased] was a good person and they'll be very missed.” “Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.” “[The deceased] was a wonderful person and I'll miss them very much.”


How do you introduce yourself at a funeral?

When introducing yourself to the family at a funeral or memorial service, be proactive. Those grieving will likely not approach you, so you should approach them. It's a good idea to keep your words brief. Say your name, explain your relationship to the person who died, and express your condolences.

Is it disrespectful to not cry at a funeral?

It's not uncommon to not cry at funerals, even if you were very close to the deceased. This is because funerals are often a time for celebrating a life, rather than grieving a loss. There may also be a lot of people around who are emotional, which can make it difficult to express your own emotions.

What to say at a funeral when you don't know what to say?

When attending a visitation, here are examples of what you can say to the family:
  • My condolences.
  • I'm really sorry you're going through this.
  • Your mom was a wonderful woman.
  • You loved him/her well.
  • I'm thinking of your family during this difficult time.


What is the most common thing said at a funeral?

Offering Condolences: What to Say at a Funeral
  • “I am so sorry for your loss”
  • “You and your loved one are in my thoughts and prayers”
  • “This is so sad to hear, I'm thinking of you and the family”
  • “If you want to talk at any time, I'm here”
  • “Shocked and saddened by this news if you need anything I'm here”


Who should speak first at a funeral?

The speech is ideally given by someone who knew the person well enough to gather and share memories and highlights of his/her life. Sometimes the choice is obvious within the family. There is often one person who seems to be the unofficial family spokesperson.

What is inappropriate at a funeral?

Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.


How can I be emotionally strong and not cry?

Tips for controlling crying
  1. Walk away. ...
  2. Use words. ...
  3. Have props and use distractions. ...
  4. Think about something positive or funny instead. ...
  5. Concentrate on breathing. ...
  6. Blink and move the eyes. ...
  7. Relaxing facial muscles. ...
  8. Get rid of that throat lump.


How much money do you give for a funeral?

How Much Should You Give? The traditional gift is the amount you would have spent on flowers for the service, generally between $50 and $100.

Who walks in first at a funeral?

Unless they have chosen to be seated beforehand, the family comes next, chief mourner(s) first, walking with whomever he or she chooses. Close friends may follow, completing the procession. The family and pallbearers occupy the front rows, with friends filling vacant places on either side.


What's the longest you can wait for a funeral?

A standard funeral can be up to about 2 weeks after the date of death. If the body is cremated, the family can wait as long as they'd like, but most are done within a month at the latest. If the deceased is already buried or cremated, a memorial service can be held at any later date.

Why do they cover the legs in a casket?

It is a common practice to cover the legs as there is swelling in the feet and shoes don't fit. As part of funeral care, the body is dressed and preserved, with the prime focus on the face. Post embalming, bodies are often placed without shoes; hence covering the legs is the way to offer a dignified funeral.