How do you handle family conflict at a funeral?

Family Conflict at the Funeral? Follow These Five Steps to Keep the Peace
  1. Get to know the common sources of funeral-related family conflict. ...
  2. Take steps to minimize the drama. ...
  3. Agree to disagree. ...
  4. Don't bring up old grudges. ...
  5. Listen with respect. ...
  6. Encourage open communication. ...
  7. Stay positive.


What should you not say to the family at a funeral?

Here are seven things to avoid saying at a funeral or to someone grieving the loss of a loved one.
  • “They're an angel now.”
  • “I know how you feel.”
  • “They look so good.”
  • “Don't cry” or “Go ahead and cry.”
  • “At least it wasn't worse.”
  • “God is sovereign.”
  • “Let me know if I can help.”
  • What can you say instead?


Why do families fight at funerals?

Those left behind are grieving and emotional. At the same time they must deal with having to make final arrangement for their loved one. This can often involve making difficult decisions. All this can cause tensions to come to a head which leads to arguments and disagreements.


What are some things that you shouldn't say at a funeral?

Seven Things You Should Never Say at Funerals
  • “He/She Deserved to Die” ...
  • “It Could be Worse” ...
  • “It was Destiny” ...
  • “Everything Happens for a Reason” ...
  • “At Least…” ...
  • “You're Still Young” ...
  • “It's Better…”


How do I console my family at a funeral?

Offering Condolences: What to Say at a Funeral
  1. “I am so sorry for your loss”
  2. “You and your loved one are in my thoughts and prayers”
  3. “This is so sad to hear, I'm thinking of you and the family”
  4. “If you want to talk at any time, I'm here”
  5. “Shocked and saddened by this news if you need anything I'm here”


How to navigate bad blood and family conflict at a funeral



What are the right words to say at a funeral?

Here are some examples of what to say at a funeral:
  • I'm sorry for your loss.
  • He will be missed by everyone that knew him.
  • She was a lovely woman and will be greatly missed.
  • You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
  • When you're ready, I'm here for you.


What is funeral etiquette for the family?

Proper funeral etiquette dictates that the closer you are to the deceased, the closer you will be to the casket. Spouse, parents, and children of the deceased will sit closest to the front. Sometimes close friends and "honorary family members" will sit with the grieving family.

What are disrespectful things to do at a funeral?

10 Things NOT to Do at a Funeral
  • 10 Things Not to Do at a Funeral. ...
  • Don't be late. ...
  • Don't dress for a club, party, or the beach. ...
  • Don't let your phone ring, chime, or ding. ...
  • Don't text, surf, or otherwise be glued to your cellphone. ...
  • Don't forget the purpose of the occasion. ...
  • Don't cause a scene.


What is inappropriate at a funeral?

Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.

Is it customary for family to speak at a funeral?

Family members, friends, clergy, and/or funeral conductors often give eulogies. At very religious funerals it is common for only clergy to deliver eulogies. However, even at many religious funerals it is common for others to deliver eulogies as well.

Why do families fall apart when someone dies?

Even though we're all certain to die one day, most people can leave the planning to the last minute, or not at all. This failure to plan is one of the most common reasons some families fall apart when a loved one dies. A combination of heightened emotions, financial strain, and grief causes estrangement in families.


When should you not go to a funeral?

5 reasons not to go to the funeral:

Your attendance at the service would be upsetting to any member of the immediate family. The services are private and not open to the public. The services are out of town and you cannot get there, or you cannot arrange for the time off work.

Do families fight at funerals?

Unsurprisingly, families often disagree on funeral and burial details, like which type of service should be planned, who gets to say the eulogy, the location of the final resting place, and so on. To avoid conflict, it's important to compromise and make trade-offs in order to keep moving forward.

How do you show respect at a funeral?

It is customary to show your respects by viewing the deceased if the body is present and the casket is open. You may wish to say a silent prayer for, or meditate about, the deceased at this time. In some cases the family may escort you to the casket. The length of your visit at the wake is a matter of discretion.


What is the most comforting thing to say at a funeral?

“I'm so sorry about your loss. [The deceased] was a good person and they'll be very missed.” “Please accept my deepest condolences for your loss.” “[The deceased] was a wonderful person and I'll miss them very much.”

What colors are OK to wear to a funeral?

Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.

Can you touch someone in a casket?

Open Casket Funeral Etiquette

While some people find comfort in seeing their loved ones as they remember them, it may also be uncomfortable to others. If they have an open casket viewing, make sure you follow proper funeral etiquette: DON'T touch the body under any circumstances.


Why can't you wear red at a funeral?

In western cultures, red is often seen as a color of joy, love, and vitality. It's the color of celebrations and positive energy. Wearing red to a funeral would be considered inappropriate because it would clash with the somber atmosphere and be viewed as disrespectful.

Is it rude to cry at a funeral?

It's Okay to Cry: How to Embrace Crying and Your Feelings. Finally, remind yourself that crying at a funeral is a natural part of the grieving process. You're allowed to show your emotions, even if it feels awkward at first. In fact, some cultures include crying as part of the wake etiquette.

Do you pay respect at a funeral?

Showing your respects to those in attendance is a beautiful thing to do. It provides some comfort to the grieving family, because when someone shows their respect, the family is reassured that the deceased person really was loved and cherished by others. When it really comes down to it, that's why we have funerals.


Is it rude to smile at a funeral?

It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.

Who is considered immediate family at funeral?

Parents, spouses, and minor children are almost always considered to be immediate family, while siblings may or may not count. In addition, adoptive parents or children are also considered immediate family, although there is no blood relation. Half-siblings, step-siblings, and other near relatives are also ambiguous.

Who sits with family at a funeral?

Family Seating Order at a Funeral

The closest family should sit in the front, with additional close family members behind them, such as cousins or grandchildren. In the case of a blended family where children were close to the deceased, they may choose to sit with their parents or in the row behind them.


Who goes in first at a funeral?

7: Where to sit

At a funeral, the first few rows are usually allocated to the immediate family (chief mourners). The remaining seats are free for everyone else, and you don't need to pick a specific side.

How do you honor a loved one at a funeral?

9 Ways to Honor a Loved One Who Has Passed
  1. Keep something of theirs with you. ...
  2. Support a cause close to their heart, and yours. ...
  3. Make a tribute donation to a nonprofit. ...
  4. Create a living reminder. ...
  5. Dedicate an event to their memory. ...
  6. Start a new tradition. ...
  7. Share their stories and photos. ...
  8. Live your best life.