How do you make someone with BPD feel loved?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


What makes a BPD feel loved?

One person told us they felt loved whenever they had their picture taken. Another felt loved when they got any sort of attention — good or bad. One person said that being asked to rate their mood on a scale of one to 10 made them feel validated and secure.

How do you help someone with borderline feeling loved?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.


How do people with BPD express love?

The Science of Falling in Love

Affection – People with BPD are either extremely affectionate or withdrawn, which may be confusing for those who don't have the disorder. Abandonment – Lots of people are scared that their partner isn't happy; but when you have BPD, you may be in constant worry that they will leave.

How do I comfort my BPD partner?

To help someone with BPD, first take care of yourself
  1. Avoid the temptation to isolate. ...
  2. You're allowed (and encouraged) to have a life! ...
  3. Join a support group for BPD family members. ...
  4. Don't neglect your physical health. ...
  5. Learn to manage stress. ...
  6. Listen actively and be sympathetic. ...
  7. Focus on the emotions, not the words.


How To Show Love To Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder



What someone with BPD needs in a relationship?

Offer emotional support.

Someone with BPD may feel very isolated because of their past. Offer your partner understanding and patience. It is possible for them to learn and have better behaviors.

How do BPD relationships finally end?

BPD splitting destroys relationships by causing the person to distort how they see themselves and others. BPD relationships shift between highs and lows. BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that the person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they can feel good about themselves.

Do borderlines deserve love?

They are often criticized, marginalized and stigmatized, but the truth is that they deserve love and understanding like anyone else. BPD, or borderline personality disorder, is a psychological diagnosis that indicates a person has difficulty regulating their emotions.


Can someone with BPD truly love?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) isn't a personal choice. It's a mental health condition, and it can be managed. Can a person with borderline personality disorder feel love? Absolutely!

Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

How do you emotionally regulate someone with BPD?

Managing Emotions Despite BPD
  1. Incorporating stress-reduction techniques into your life.
  2. Exercising regularly.
  3. Using grounding techniques in moments of intense distress.
  4. Practicing mindfulness meditation.
  5. Expressing your emotions through writing.
  6. Educating yourself about BPD.


How do you have a stable relationship with someone with BPD?

Try to reassure the person with BPD during your conversation. Setting boundaries should be a process. Introduce them slowly over time rather than setting all limits in place on day one. It is likely that your loved one will test the boundaries.

Who attracts BPD?

Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.

What is a BPD favorite person?

A favorite person is the center of attention of an individual living with BPD. This means they consider this person as a trusted friend, confidant, and counselor all wrapped in one. Dr. Roberts notes that the person with BPD demonstrates an “anxious-preoccupied attachment style.”


How do you communicate with someone with BPD?

How to Help
  1. Be patient.
  2. Be realistic.
  3. Try to separate facts from feelings.
  4. Validate feelings first.
  5. Listen actively and be sympathetic.
  6. Seek to distract when emotions rise.
  7. Do not allow yourself to be the product of the intense anger; attempt to diffuse it but sometimes you may have to walk away.


Can a person with BPD revalue someone after devaluing them?

Yes absolutely. But not in all cases. If you're in a position of being devalued, initially you must have been in a position of being valued. Devaluation happens when the fear of abandonment and/or rejection is triggered.

Should you give up on someone with BPD?

If you are friend or a loved one with a mental health condition reading this now, please do not give up on them. People who have a condition such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) will most certainly have issues maintaining relationships which can make it hard to stay with them at times.


Do people with BPD love hard?

But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.

How long do BPD relationships last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.

Do borderlines ever forgive?

These results suggest that patients with BPD report becoming more accepting and forgiving over time. Additionally, recovery status is significantly associated with increasing time in these states.


Are people with BPD loyal?

Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.

Are borderlines lonely?

Borderline personality disorder is characterized by loneliness, social isolation, a fear of abandonment, poor social and communication skills, and unstable, difficult interpersonal relationships. The loneliness of living with this condition can be extremely painful, but treatments can be effective.

How does a person with BPD feel after breakup?

Not all people with BPD experienced abandonment as children, but many have. Any trigger that reopens this wound, such as a romantic partner calling it quits, can cause a spiraling of emotions that can lead to feeling completely and utterly emotionally dysregulated.


How do breakups affect people with BPD?

Ending a Relationship

Because people with BPD have an intense fear of abandonment, a breakup can leave them feeling desperate and devastated. This is why it's a good idea to have a support network for you and partner, especially if a breakup may occur. This network often includes a mental health professional.

Can people with BPD be abusive?

Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.