How do you tell if it's a trauma bond or love?

Trauma Bonds. One way to determine whether you're in a healthy relationship or a trauma bond is to focus on how your relationship consistently makes you feel. A healthy relationship makes you feel supported, secure, and confident, while a trauma bond makes you feel fearful, anxious, or put down.


How can you tell the difference between trauma bond and love?

Much like love bombing, trauma bonds can give the resemblance of love. They're often confused for love because of the trying nature, and when you love someone, you do try. Trauma bond relationships are driven by fear, not love, which is the biggest differentiator between trauma bonds and love.

What are 3 signs of a trauma bond?

Signs of trauma bonding
  • agree with the abusive person's reasons for treating them badly.
  • try to cover for the abusive person.
  • argue with or distance themselves from people trying to help, such as friends, family members, or neighbors.


Can a trauma bond still be love?

If you're wondering whether it's love or trauma bonding...

And the fact is, a trauma bond will not transform into a healthy relationship, no matter how much the person being abused hopes so or tries to fix it. “It's often mistaken for love,” Wilform says.

What does a trauma bond relationship look like?

Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.


8 Signs Its A Trauma Bond, Not Love



What are the 7 stages of trauma bonding?

The seven stages of trauma bonding are:
  • Love Bombing. Love bombing involves the sudden, intense attempt to create a “we” in a relationship through high praise and excessive flattery. ...
  • Trust & Dependency. ...
  • Criticism. ...
  • Manipulation & Gaslighting. ...
  • Resignation & Giving Up. ...
  • Loss of Self. ...
  • Addiction to the Cycle.


How do you break a trauma bond with someone?

Outside of getting professional support, here are some steps you can take on your own to break free from a trauma bonded relationship:
  1. Educate Yourself. ...
  2. Focus on the Here and Now. ...
  3. Create Some Space. ...
  4. Find Support. ...
  5. Practice Good Self-Care. ...
  6. Make Future Plans. ...
  7. Develop Healthy Relationships. ...
  8. Give Yourself Permission to Heal.


Can you have a healthy relationship with someone you trauma bonded with?

Unfortunately, transforming a trauma bond into a healthy attachment rarely happens, although it is possible to stop one from forming before it's too late. If you know that you are in a toxic relationship, seek help. It may seem difficult, even impossible.


Do narcissists feel the trauma bond?

Do Narcissists Also Feel the Trauma Bond? Abusive narcissists likely do feel the bond too, but differently. It's so confusing for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist who's abusive to understand why they continue to hurt them, even when they say they love them.

Are trauma bonds hard to break?

A trauma bond is a strong, emotional attachment that develops between a survivor of prolonged abuse and the perpetrator of abuse. It can be hard to break a trauma bond due to the intensity of the attachment, but there are multiple ways to heal and move on from a trauma-bonded relationship.

Can you break a trauma bond and stay together?

While it may seem nearly impossible to exit a situation where a trauma bond is present, there is hope with the proper support and healthy boundaries. Individuals who find themselves in a toxic relationship can break a trauma bond and lead healthy lives with healthy relationships.


What is trauma dumping?

Trauma dumping is when someone shares traumatic details or events without another person's consent. Before confiding in someone, it's important to make sure that they can properly support you. If someone shares a trauma with you, try your best to listen with empathy and without judgment.

Can trauma bond relationship be fixed?

Trauma bonds can be repaired. As long as both parties are aware of the unhealthy dynamic and want to change it by taking ownership of their piece. This is where the work comes in. Not just seeing it but doing something about it.

Am I in love or codependent?

A codependent relationship can look like love, but it isn't. Love is predicated on choice, the choice to support and care for another. If you are dependent on another person for your emotional security and welfare, then the relationship is no longer based on love. Instead, it is based on need.


How long is trauma bonding?

In fact, this applies both to the abuser and the trauma survivor—many people feel emotionally “hooked” to the other person in these types of relationships. In fact, it can take just 63 days of this kind of relationship to develop a strong bond that can be hard to leave.

Will a narcissist let you move on?

Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.

How do narcissists end Trauma bonds?

Although the survivor might disclose the abuse, the trauma bond means she may also seek to receive comfort from the very person who abused her.
  1. Physically separate from the abuser. ...
  2. Cut off all lines of communication as far as possible. ...
  3. Acknowledge you have a choice and can choose to leave the relationship.


How do you tell if you are a victim of a narcissist?

You know you're suffering from narcissistic abuse victim syndrome if you have the following symptoms:
  1. Always Walking On Egg Shells. ...
  2. Sense of Mistrust. ...
  3. Self-Isolation. ...
  4. Loss of Self Worth. ...
  5. Feeling Lonely. ...
  6. Freezing Up. ...
  7. Trouble Making Decisions. ...
  8. Feeling Like You've Done Something Wrong.


What is the difference between trauma bonding and codependency?

In order to heal and find trauma resolution, a person must be able and willing to see how their compulsive behavior only aids in forming trauma bonds and therefore they must break the compulsivity. Codependency on the other hand, focuses more on the addiction.

Is trauma bonding a form of codependency?

The Trauma-Bonded codependent

It's a coping mechanism for a traumatic situation in which you feel loyalty to and dependence on your abuser. It often occurs when the abuser goes through cycles of abuse and affection. They treat you badly but always go back to a pattern of being loving and caring.


Can 2 people be trauma bonded together?

Trauma bonds are not just found in romantic relationships. They can happen between family members, friends, and even coworkers. This bond is forged through affection alternating with abuse.

What strengthens a trauma bond?

Trauma bonding is a bond that develops when two people undergo intense, risky emotional experiences together. In the context of an abusive relationship, this bond is strengthened due to the heightenedintimacy and danger.

How do you know when a trauma bond is broken?

Breaking a trauma bond comes with intense withdrawal symptoms, flashbacks, cravings for the toxic person, compulsive thoughts about what happened, and an anxious state that may make you feel like you are going backward, without abate.


What is Overexplaining?

overexplained; overexplaining. transitive + intransitive. : to explain (something) to an excessive degree. The stories tended to be as simple as a good children's picture-book, so that nothing needed to be overexplained. Noel Murray.

Are breakups traumatising?

Going through a breakup can be traumatic. Similar to other traumas, like the death of a loved one, breakups can cause overwhelming and long-lasting grief.