How long do you sit Shiva for a spouse?

The shiva meaning is literally “seven” – a period of seven days when a Jewish family has a formal mourning time to honor their loved one. According to Jewish law, individuals should sit shiva after losing a parent, spouse, sibling, or child.


How long does a wife sit Shiva?

Shiva is derived from the word sheva, which means seven, signifying the seven days of mourning. It is a time referred to as – “sitting shiva” and its primary purpose is to provide a time for spiritual and emotional healing, where mourners join together. A person sits shiva for a parent, spouse, sibling or child.

What are the rules for sitting Shiva?

Many traditional Shiva restrictions include no wearing of new clothes, no shaving for men, no washing clothes, no bathing.


How long does shiva service last?

Children, siblings, parents, and spouses of the deceased have a religious obligation to observe Shiva or to sit Shiva. The Shiva begins immediately after the burial and lasts for seven days.

How many hours a day do you sit Shiva?

Funerals often start between 11am – 2pm and are around an hour. The burial is on average, another 2-3 hours depending on the distance of the cemetery from the funeral (often in Synagogue or Funeral Home). First shiva can begin anywhere from 4:30pm to 7pm and doesn't usually last past 9 or so.


Why Do Jews Sit Shiva?



Do I wear black to a shiva?

You don't have to wear black to a shiva house, but your attire should always be respectful. Keep your visit short—It's not how long you stay, but that you pay the visit.

Can you bring alcohol to a shiva?

Food for the Shiva

Some may refrain from anything associated with happiness and festivity, like wine. However, this is not prohibited. A considerate means of bringing comfort to those in mourning is to prevent them from having to cook.

Can you take food out of a shiva house?

There is a prevalent custom not to remove anything from a shiva house; this includes even retrieving items that had previously been borrowed by the mourner. There are many variations of this practice. For example, some are lenient when it comes to food, while others rule stringently.


What happens after sitting shiva?

Following shiva is the stage of mourning known as sheloshim (literally "thirty"). During this period, mourning proceeds for thirty days following the burial. The first seven days of sheloshim is the period of shiva, however sheloshim continues on after shiva has ended.

Do you have to be invited to a shiva?

When you approach a home that's sitting shiva, you're invited to walk right in. As shiva is observed, the mourner's home is open to the community and everyone is welcome. Shiva is a time to meet the mourners, to share memories and stories about the deceased.

Can you change clothes during Shiva?

Laundering and Wearing Clothes

Laundered clothes must not be worn during the shiva, even if they were laundered before the person became a mourner. Members of the mourner's household who are not themselves mourners are allowed to launder their clothes, and are allowed to wear laundered clothes.


Is there a dress code for a Shiva?

There is no specific dress code. Dressing respectfully is a must though. This means women should be conservative and men should wear long pants. If Shiva is being held in an orthodox home, many women will be dressed in long skirts below the knee and long sleeve shirt.

What can you not say at a Shiva house?

For the greater good of future mourners, I offer these examples of what not to say during shiva:
  • “How are you?” ...
  • “You look tired.” ...
  • “Did you know, I have a kind of cancer that's really similar to what your mom had?” ...
  • “We just went through something similar.” ...
  • “The husbands should all be rewarded for missing the Super Bowl.”


What food to bring to shiva?

Here are Some of the Best Foods to Bring to a Shiva:

Think Jewish comfort foods like potato knishes, pastry puffs, or anything easy to prepare and serve. Bagels are a classic, and they are also circular, symbolizing the cycle of life. Be sure to choose an assortment so that there is a variety to choose from.


What to do on the last day of shiva?

The last day of shiva traditionally ends shortly after morning prayers (shacharit) are recited. During shiva, members of the immediate family (a parent, sibling, spouse, or child) stay inside and are comforted by visitors. Traditionally, these visitors also help form the minyan for morning and afternoon prayers.

Why do you cover the mirrors when someone dies?

In parts of Germany and in Belgium, it was long customary to cover mirrors with a white cloth because it was thought that if a person saw his or her image in a mirror after a death in the household, that person would die shortly.

Can you sit Shiva for a pet?

The simple answer to your question is that there is no Jewish mourning ritual for an animal. There is nothing to stop you from taking time out of your ordinary schedule to reflect on your loss but you mustn't confuse this with the religious nature of a shivah ritual. Judaism has great compassion for animals.


Can you sit Shiva for 3 days?

There are many important reasons for this first period of official mourning, but due to various considerations such as family needing to return to their homes in other cities or changes in religious observance, many families sit shiva for fewer than seven days.

What do you say when you visit a shiva house?

For this reason, it would be advisable for a visitor to gather his thoughts before arriving at the shiva. The proper topic of conversation is the deceased's life, with particular focus on his merits and the reward that he has earned.

What is shiva's favorite drink?

The Atharvaveda describes bhang as herb that ''releases anxiety''. It is considered the favourite drink of Lord Shiva.


Can you have flowers at a shiva?

For example, in many traditions, it is customary to send flowers to a funeral home or directly to immediate family members of the deceased. In the Jewish tradition, though, that is generally discouraged—it's extremely rare that flowers would be sent to either the funeral home or the shiva home.

Can you bring flowers to a shiva?

Honor the Family with a Considerate Gift

Each family has different needs and wishes when it comes to sympathy gifts. However, in the Jewish faith, it's not appropriate to send flowers to the funeral, shiva, or other memorial events.

Can you wear jeans to a shiva?

There is no strict dress code for Shiva.


What color to wear to a shiva?

In that vein, there is no requirement to wear black, nor do you need to worry if your outfit is a little too colorful. The key for dressing to go to a shiva is to be respectful of the family in mourning. And that can vary from family to family.

Can non-Jews attend shiva?

In Judaism, a religious event called shiva is held after the funeral. While shiva is primarily a religious event it is also a social event, and non-Jews are welcome to attend.