How to live with someone with borderline personality disorder?

8 Best Tips for How to Cope With a Loved One's Borderline Personality Disorder
  1. Learn About the Illness.
  2. Validate Their Feelings.
  3. Simplify Your Message.
  4. Encourage Responsibility.
  5. Set Boundaries.
  6. Don't Ignore Threats of Suicide or Self-Harm.
  7. Help Your Loved One Find Treatment.
  8. Find Support for Yourself.


How do you survive someone with borderline personality disorder?

To help someone with BPD, first take care of yourself
  1. Avoid the temptation to isolate. ...
  2. You're allowed (and encouraged) to have a life! ...
  3. Join a support group for BPD family members. ...
  4. Don't neglect your physical health. ...
  5. Learn to manage stress. ...
  6. Listen actively and be sympathetic. ...
  7. Focus on the emotions, not the words.


Can you maintain a relationship with someone with BPD?

With treatment and continual support from family and partners, people with BPD can have successful relationships. Read on to find out how it's possible and what you can do if you or your partner has BPD.


What are some coping skills for BPD?

You could:
  • Wrap up in a blanket and watch your favourite TV show.
  • Write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear it up.
  • Listen to music that you find uplifting or soothing.
  • Write a comforting letter to the part of yourself that is feeling sad or alone.
  • Let yourself cry or sleep.
  • Cuddle a pet or a soft toy.


What it's like living with someone who has borderline personality disorder?

People living with BPD often have an intense fear of instability and abandonment. As a result, they have problems being alone. The condition is also known for anger, mood swings, and impulsiveness. These qualities can dissuade people from being around someone with BPD.


Loving Someone With Borderline Personality Disorder: A Model of Emotion Regulation



What is the best way to deal with someone who has borderline personality disorder?

  • Set clear boundaries. Practising good boundaries and expectations can make a big difference. ...
  • Plan ahead. ...
  • Learn their triggers. ...
  • Provide distractions. ...
  • Learn more about BPD. ...
  • Help them seek treatment and support. ...
  • Take care of yourself.


Is it hard to be in a relationship with someone with BPD?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be difficult at times, but it doesn't have to be something that harms your relationship. BPD symptoms can include complex and unhealthy thought processes, anxiety, poor self-image, and dramatic mood swings.

Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.


Are BPD relationships toxic?

Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.

Are borderlines aware of their behavior?

People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.

How do you calm anger in borderline personality disorder?

Here are some tips on healthy ways to manage your anger with BPD.
  1. Count to 10. Hero Images / Getty Images. ...
  2. Notice Your Anger Earlier. Hero Images / Getty Images. ...
  3. Take a Break. Betsie Van Der Meer / Getty Images. ...
  4. Distract Yourself. ...
  5. Take Deep Breaths. ...
  6. Ground Yourself. ...
  7. Listen to Calming Music. ...
  8. Practice Letting Go.


How do you stop arguing with borderline personality disorder?

How to survive an argument with someone with BPD
  1. Genuinely try to listen. ...
  2. Validate their feelings, not their behaviours. ...
  3. See their inner child. ...
  4. Setting kind but firm boundaries. ...
  5. Honour yourself. ...
  6. Be specific. ...
  7. Be open. ...
  8. Suggest alternatives.


Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

What are the stages of BPD?

The 7 Stages of the BPD Relationship Cycle
  • First Stage of a BPD Relationship: Attraction. ...
  • Second Stage of a BPD Relationship: Obsessive Neediness. ...
  • Third Stage of a BPD Relationship: Withdrawing and Withholding. ...
  • Fourth Stage of a BPD Relationship: Escalating Devaluation. ...
  • Fifth Stage of a BPD Relationship: “The Break Up”


How do you make someone with BPD feel loved?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


What does a borderline episode look like?

When a person has BPD, they often experience periods of intense feelings of anger, anxiety, or depression that can last for a few hours or a few days. The mood swings experienced by people with BPD can lead to issues with impulsive behavior and can contribute to relationship problems.

How do I deal with my partner with BPD?

Finding Relief if You're Facing Relationship Problems Due to Borderline Personality Disorder
  1. Seek out information. ...
  2. Get help. ...
  3. Practice healthy communication. ...
  4. Ask open-ended questions. ...
  5. Talk only when your partner is calm. ...
  6. Offer support. ...
  7. Avoid labeling or blaming. ...
  8. Take threats seriously.


What are five treatment options for BPD?

Five major treatments—DBT, mentalization-based treatment (MBT) [1], schema-focused therapy (SFT) [2], transference-focused psychotherapy (TFP) [3], and systems training for emotional predictability and problem solving (STEPPS) [4]—have been established as evidence based treatments (EBTs) for BPD [5].

Who are BPD attracted to?

Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.

What is BPD splitting?

Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.


When should you walk away from someone with mental illness?

When Is It Time to Walk Away? In some cases, the decision to leave is obvious. If physical abuse is present to any degree, and especially if the individual fears for their own life or well-being or that of their children, it's important to leave as soon as possible. Safety is the number one priority.

What are the 9 criteria for BPD?

The 9 symptoms of BPD
  • Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
  • Unstable relationships. ...
  • Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
  • Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
  • Self-harm. ...
  • Extreme emotional swings. ...
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
  • Explosive anger.


Are people with BPD emotionally abusive?

Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.


What are toxic traits of BPD?

People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often have a strong fear of abandonment, struggle to maintain healthy relationships, have very intense emotions, act impulsively, and may even experience paranoia and dissociation.

Are borderlines loyal?

We're loyal partners and friends

Though there's often an assumption that we have unstable relationships – and in fact this is listed as one of the main symptoms of BPD – we are extremely loyal. As mentioned above, we tend to put ourselves last. Relationships are truly important to us, and our loyalty is strong.