Should a 3 year old attend a funeral?

Toddler (2-3 Years Old)
Their behavior is often unpredictable and may detract from the funeral proceedings. While it's up to the parents to decide if a toddler should attend the funeral, it might be better to skip it altogether.


What age is appropriate for a toddler to attend a funeral?

"Seeing someone in a casket can be very frightening to them. Children should never be forced to 'view' an open casket if they are frightened," Markham warned. By age 7 or so, most children understand the permanence of death. A school-age child is also old enough to attend a funeral, but only if he wants to.

Do you bring a 3 year old to a funeral?

As a general guideline, children should be allowed to attend a wake, funeral and burial if they want to. They can also be involved in the funeral planning. Joining family members for these rituals gives the child a chance to receive grief support from others and say goodbye in their own way to the person who has died.


What should a 3 year old wear to a funeral?

For toddlers, any clothing will do as long as it isn't flashy or distracting. Many toddler clothing has sparkles, bright colors, or silly characters. While this is fine for a regular day out, it's not appropriate for a funeral. When in doubt, choose something neutral or solid colored.

Should little kids go to a funeral?

Many Children Benefit From Attending Funerals or Memorial Services. Children grieve differently than adults, but they still need opportunities to express their feelings, talk about their loved one, and say goodbye.


10 Considerations Regarding Children and Funerals



Is it rude to bring a toddler to a funeral?

It may be appropriate to bring a younger child to a funeral if he/she is the son or daughter of the deceased. If the child had a particularly strong bond with a grandparent or other relative, it also may be appropriate for him/her to attend.

Is it appropriate for a 4 year old to attend a funeral?

Many people worry that their children are too young to go to a funeral and won't understand what is happening. But most children have a full understanding of death by the time they are about 8-10 years old and many younger children will have enough understanding to go to the funeral.

How do you explain death to a 3 year old?

Gently but directly, use the words 'dead' and 'died' within short explanations. Using euphuisms and vague language often creates fear in children. Phrases like “Passed away, gone to sleep, he's with grandma, lost their life” do not explain in concrete terms that their loved one has died.


How do you prepare a toddler for a funeral?

Prepare them in advance

Discuss what your child will see (pews, religious symbols, flowers, casket, urn, the body of the deceased, black clothing, etc.). You don't have to talk about everything at once – do it in small doses. The point is to put any anxiety to rest and prepare your child for a new experience.

Is it inappropriate to bring a baby to a funeral?

All children are different, so there is no specific age where going to funerals is standard. Rather than focusing so much on age, realize the maturity of your child and use this as a barometer to make a decision. There is no wrong answer for bringing your children to a funeral.

How do I keep my toddler busy at a funeral?

If you must take your child to the funeral, be sure to think of ways to keep them occupied. Bring their favorite toys and activities, like coloring books, or let them watch a movie on an iPad.


Should children go to open casket funeral?

If your child is around four years old and older, it's important to discuss what an open casket is and to see if they feel comfortable seeing it themselves. If they are not comfortable with seeing an open casket, it's important to be supportive of their decision.

Is it disrespectful to not go to a funeral?

Choosing whether to attend is at the discretion of each individual, family member. Whatever you choose, know that it isn't disrespectful to not go to a funeral for personal reasons.

Is it normal for a 3 year old to worry about death?

Fear of death is common among children. In fact, most kids will experience fearful thoughts about death at some point in their lives. They may have a fear of dying themselves, or they may worry that their parents will die. They may even have fears about the family pet dying.


How do I talk to my 3 year old about the death of a pet?

Because preschoolers take your words at face value, it's important to use simple, accurate language: “Sasha's heart stopped beating. Her body didn't work anymore and she died. That means we will not see her or pet her again.” Let your child know it's okay to be sad.

What age do kids understand death?

Well developed 4-6 years olds often think about, and are quite interested in, death and often want to see and touch dead things. From 6 to 8 years, a clearer understanding of death is developing. There is an increased interest in the physical and biological aspects of death.

Who shouldn't attend a funeral?

If you live far away, are ill, or believe your attendance would cause distress or disrupt the service, it may be better to avoid going to the funeral.


Who should not attend a funeral?

Here's when it may be okay to skip the funeral service: If your presence will upset the close family of the deceased. If you're not close to the deceased or their family. If the event is not open to the public.

What is inappropriate at a funeral?

Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.

How do you tell a 3 year old a grandparent dies?

Use simple words to talk about death.

Be calm and caring when you tell your child that someone has died. Use words that are clear and direct. "I have some sad news to tell you. Grandma died today." Pause to give your child a moment to take in your words.


Is open casket traumatizing?

There is no need to worry that the open casket funeral will be traumatising, the body will only be displayed if it is in good shape. If your loved one died from a traumatic accident or was badly burned, then they will not be displayed in an open casket funeral.

What should you not do at a funeral?

10 Things NOT to Do at a Funeral
  • 10 Things Not to Do at a Funeral. ...
  • Don't be late. ...
  • Don't dress for a club, party, or the beach. ...
  • Don't let your phone ring, chime, or ding. ...
  • Don't text, surf, or otherwise be glued to your cellphone. ...
  • Don't forget the purpose of the occasion. ...
  • Don't cause a scene.


How do I keep my 3 year old quiet in church?

Tips to Keep Children Quiet During a Church Service
  1. Dress your children comfortably. ...
  2. Bring drinks and a snack. ...
  3. Bring quiet toys. ...
  4. Sit near the back of the church, where the kids won't be as much of a distraction. ...
  5. Encourage babies to nap during service. ...
  6. Give clear expectations to toddlers and older children.


Do you tell a toddler about death?

Making death a part of normal conversations, as Beltran did, is vital for children of all ages, experts say. But young ones especially benefit because the concept of life being over is confusing, and they usually don't have the vocabulary to fully express how they're feeling.

How does death affect a toddler?

Any death can be difficult for a child, and a wide range of emotional and behavioral responses are common including changes in sleeping pattern or appetite; sad, angry, or anxious feelings; social isolation; persistent thoughts about the death; or feeling the person's presence nearby.