Should I go to the wake or funeral?

In most situations, going to one or the other is acceptable - especially if you did not know the deceased but are going to provide support to a friend or family member. If you were close to the deceased and/or close to the family, then every effort should be made to attend the wake and the funeral services.

Is it okay to go to a wake and not the funeral?

If you didn't know the deceased personally

To support them, you can go to the wake but not the funeral. Attending the wake helps express your condolences. And is appropriate for this kind of relationship. Your presence will be appreciated.

Is it rude to not go to a wake?

As with a funeral service, if you are invited to a wake, viewing, or visitation you should feel free to go. If the event is limited to family only, you should respect the family's wishes and not attend.

Do friends go to the wake or funeral?

Close family and friends of the person who died will likely attend the visitation and funeral service. Others may attend both or may need to or prefer to attend one or the other but not both. Visitation may take place the day before the funeral, the evening before or even just hours before the funeral service.

Should I attend the viewing or the funeral?

It's typically considered more important to attend the funeral service. Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable only attending the funeral; however, you might like the chance to speak to the family in a more relaxed setting at the visitation. As long as you're kind and respectful, the choice is yours.

Wake vs Funeral vs Memorial vs Viewing: What's the Difference?

When should you not go to a funeral?

5 reasons not to go to the funeral:

Your attendance at the service would be upsetting to any member of the immediate family. The services are private and not open to the public. The services are out of town and you cannot get there, or you cannot arrange for the time off work.

How long should you stay at a wake?

According to the The Funeral Source, it is appropriate for guests to stay at the wake for as little as 15 to 20 minutes. However, you should use your own discretion upon deciding when to leave. If you're close with the family, you may want to stay longer. Offer to help and socialize with the other guests at the wake.

Is it rude to not go to a funeral?

Choosing whether to attend is at the discretion of each individual, family member. Whatever you choose, know that it isn't disrespectful to not go to a funeral for personal reasons.

Is a wake more casual than a funeral?

Wakes are generally more casual and interactive than funeral services, which are more structured around certain rituals. Many families will have both a wake and a funeral, with the wake taking place the day before the funeral service or afterward at the families' home.

What not to wear to a funeral?

Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.

What is an appropriate age to go to a wake?

By age 7 or so, most children understand the permanence of death. A school-age child is also old enough to attend a funeral, but only if he wants to. Give your child the choice of whether he wants to go or not, without any pressure or coercion to go, Markham advised.

What is the etiquette for attending a wake?

Dress nicely, but you don't need to be too formal. The standard protocol for a funeral visitation is to stop by, introduce yourself to the family (if needed) and pay your condolences, and then leave after a short period of time.

What should you not do at a wake?

But during the wake of their beloved, superstitions say that one must refrain from sweeping the floor. Neither should you try and take a shower at the place where the deceased is. Doing so may send its spirit away from the place, preventing it from “safely passing” to life after death.

Do you give money at a wake?

It's common for people to give money at birthdays, weddings, but at funerals giving money isn't always a respectful gift. However, the protocols can sometimes be altered and people may still offer money if that's how they feel, or the grieving family needs the help.

What to expect at a wake?

A wake, also known as a viewing, visitation or gathering, typically occurs before the funeral takes place. An urn or a casket is typically present, and the casket may be opened or closed. At this time, people pay their respects and offer condolences to loved ones of the departed.

Is it OK to wear jeans to a wake?

Jeans are acceptable in all kinds of places where they never were before: religious services, airline flights, even our jobs. But when it comes to post-death rituals such as funerals and wakes, dressier outfits are still expected. In general, jeans should be avoided unless you have nothing else to wear.

Can you wear jeans to a funeral wake?

Can you wear jeans to a funeral? The most common answer is that jeans aren't considered appropriate funeral etiquette unless requested by the family. However, dark, unembellished jeans paired with a shirt, tie, and blazer for men or a blouse and a blazer for women can be appropriate for a casual service.

Do you wear black to a wake?

When thinking about what to wear to a wake, women have to remember that this is a somber occasion, it is best to choose conservative colors and styles. You don't have to wear black, but it is acceptable if you decide to wear all black. Other colors include navy blue, gray, blush colors, and neutrals such as beige.

Is it rude to cry at a funeral?

It's Okay to Cry: How to Embrace Crying and Your Feelings. Finally, remind yourself that crying at a funeral is a natural part of the grieving process. You're allowed to show your emotions, even if it feels awkward at first. In fact, some cultures include crying as part of the wake etiquette.

Why do they cover mirrors when someone dies?

In parts of Germany and in Belgium, it was long customary to cover mirrors with a white cloth because it was thought that if a person saw his or her image in a mirror after a death in the household, that person would die shortly.

Why you should always go to the funeral?

One of the most important reasons to go to a funeral is to pay your respects. Being there shows that you want to support the family and help say a meaningful goodbye. At the same time, it allows you to honor the deceased and the memories you shared with them.

What not to say at a wake?

Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.

Do you have to be invited to a wake?

Generally speaking, the public is invited to attend a wake, even if there's no personal connection. On the contrary, funerals tend to be more intimate with close friends and family in attendance.

Can you wear jeans to a funeral?

Can you wear jeans to a funeral? Bottom line: jeans are not appropriate for a funeral. Unless the family requests them, you should avoid wearing denim to a funeral. However, if it's a casual, outdoor service, you can consider a dark (almost black denim) paired with a button-down shirt and blazer.

Is it rude to take photos at funerals?

Is It Appropriate to Take Photos at a Funeral? Unless explicitly requested by the deceased's family, it is best to avoid taking photographs at a funeral or memorial ceremony. Taking candid photos of the relatives in their most vulnerable moments of grief might cause stress and destroy the mood during the service.