What are the effects of silent treatment?

In general, the silent treatment is a manipulation tactic that can leave important issues in a relationship unresolved. It also can leave the partner on the receiving end feeling worthless, unloved, hurt, confused, frustrated, angry, and unimportant.


What does the silent treatment do to a person?

Research has found that people who received the silent treatment experienced a threat to their needs of belonging, self-esteem, control, and meaningful existence. This type of behavior reinforces the feeling that someone we care about wants nothing to do with us. It can feel as though you don't exist.

Does the silent treatment hurt the person doing it?

“Exclusion and rejection literally hurt,” John Bargh, a psychology professor at Yale, told me. But the silent treatment ultimately harms the person causing it, too. Humans are predisposed to reciprocate social cues, so ignoring someone goes against our nature, Williams said.


What kind of person uses the silent treatment?

Avoidance: In some cases, people stay silent in a conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid conflict. Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset.

What happens when you ignore the silent treatment?

This may be a given, but there is a wide variety of overwhelming emotions that come with being ignored. Feelings of loneliness, low self-esteem, and despair can occur. The effects of silent treatment as abuse can also contribute to depression, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia.


6 Ways The Silent Treatment Is Harmful



Is silent treatment a red flag?

Red flag. The silent treatment might seem like a convenient way to opt out of a conversation that is bothering you but it's also super unhealthy. What most people don't know, is that the cold shoulder is a subtle form of manipulation.

Is silent treatment Gaslighting?

The silent treatment is strikingly similar to gaslighting, as both flourish in power and control. In fact, some therapists call the silent treatment a form of gaslighting, used to cause personal uncertainty, and a sense of doubt when considering goals, self-views and worldviews.

How do you respond to silent treatment?

Tell the person how the silent treatment hurts and leaves you feeling frustrated and alone. That's not what you want or need in a relationship. Explain that you can't resolve issues this way, then be specific about those issues. If this sort of behavior is a relationship deal-breaker for you, state it plainly.


How do you win a silent treatment?

How to Respond to the Silent Treatment
  1. #1. Dig Deep Into the Whys of the Situation.
  2. #2. Use the Sandwich Method.
  3. #3. Listen and Not Just Talk.
  4. #4. Do Not Try To Win the Silent Treatment.
  5. #5. Let Go of Your Grudge.
  6. #6. Be Strong.
  7. #7. Remember: The Recipient Doesn't Always Need To Initiate.
  8. #8. Give Space and Time.


What are the 5 signs of emotional abuse?

5 Signs of Emotional Abuse
  • They are Hyper-Critical or Judgmental Towards You. ...
  • They Ignore Boundaries or Invade Your Privacy. ...
  • They are Possessive and/or Controlling. ...
  • They are Manipulative. ...
  • They Often Dismiss You and Your Feelings.


What does ignoring someone do to them?

Research finds that feeling ignored can affect people's sensory perceptions, such as feeling that surroundings seem quieter. Being ignored creates feelings of self-doubt, feeling a lack of control, and feeling not worthy of attention.


Should I ignore silent treatment?

When used in relationships, silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse. Being ignored stimulates the part of the brain that detects physical pain, so the silent treatment is very emotionally and physically painful. It can lead to negative emotions, like distress and anger.

How long should I tolerate the silent treatment?

Ideally no more than 1 hour, hopefully less. Say “I will be back in *** (time) to continue the discussion” even if you can only manage to come back to agree to close it down for the time being, or take the matter to counselling.

Is silent treatment narcissistic?

The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse typically employed by people with narcissistic tendencies.


Is silence a form of emotional abuse?

Silent treatment abuse is a form of emotional abuse in which a person refuses to communicate with you in order to control or influence your behaviors. Taking time to cool down after an argument is healthy, but shutting off communication for a long time, especially in order to control another person, is a form of abuse.

How do you outsmart the silent treatment?

You've changed your behavior to avoid getting the silent treatment.
  1. Take a gentle approach: Make it about them. ...
  2. Or, make it about you. ...
  3. Ignore it until it blows over. ...
  4. Offer solutions. ...
  5. Stand up for yourself.


Why is the silent treatment so hurtful?

It Causes Psychological Stress

The psychology behind the silent treatment is that it can be a mind game for some people and, in some cases, can be used as a form of manipulation. Along with the emotional roller-coaster, it tears down your sense of self-esteem and sense of self-worth.


Why the silent treatment is manipulative?

Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.

Is the silent treatment worse than yelling?

Many abuse survivors say they hated the silent treatment more than the insults or yelling. When they were shouted at, at least they knew what was on the abuser's mind, and could better assess their own and their children's safety. Stone-cold silence can reinforce feelings of vulnerability and fear.

Is it immature to give silent treatment?

But here's the thing about blatantly ignoring someone: not only is it rude, immature, inconsiderate, cruel, and petty, it's downright emotionally (and sometimes physically) damaging. Ignoring someone is not an act of love. In fact, silent treatment qualifies as abuse.


Is ignoring manipulative?

It's fine to ask for time to reflect on an argument or to tell someone who deeply hurt you that you no longer wish to speak to them. But ignoring a person to punish them or make them fearful is a manipulative tactic.

What are the signs someone is ignoring you?

Concrete signs someone is avoiding you.
  • Zero communication. Has your friend or loved one stopped communicating with you? ...
  • Always canceling plans. ...
  • Failing to make eye contact. ...
  • Physically distancing. ...
  • Socially distancing. ...
  • Insufficient responses.
  • Excuses and lies. ...
  • Give yourself a little space.


How do you say goodbye to someone who ignores you?

Don't try to communicate with the person if they're ignoring you. Sometimes, you just need a break from them and it might be what they need, too. There's no need to make a scene or dramatically announce that you're giving them space—just go somewhere else and catch a break.


Which are the 3 main warning signs that someone may be an abuser?

What Are the "Warning Signs" of an Abuser?
  • Extreme jealousy.
  • Possessiveness.
  • Unpredictability.
  • A bad temper.
  • Cruelty to animals.
  • Verbal abuse.
  • Extremely controlling behavior.
  • Antiquated beliefs about roles of women and men in relationships.


What are 6 behaviors that indicate emotional abuse?

Examples include intimidation, coercion, ridiculing, harassment, treating an adult like a child, isolating an adult from family, friends, or regular activity, use of silence to control behavior, and yelling or swearing which results in mental distress. Signs of emotional abuse.
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