What are the four types of shame?

While different models exist, psychotherapist Joseph Burgo identifies four common types of shame: Unwanted Exposure (flaws revealed publicly), Disappointed Expectation (failing goals), Exclusion (not belonging), and Unrequited Love (not loved back), all stemming from our need for connection and acceptance. Other frameworks include Existential, Situational, Class, and Narcissistic shame (Robert Karen) or Guilt-based, Social-comparison, Self-image-based, and Trauma-based shame (Paul Wong).

What are the 4 categories of shame?

Psychologist Robert Karen identified four categories of shame: existential, situational, class, and narcissistic. Existential shame occurs when we become self-aware of an objective, unpleasant truth about ourselves or our situation.

What are the 4 quadrants of shame?

The four poles of the Compass of Shame: Withdrawal (hiding), Attack Self (deference), Avoidance (look where I want you to look) and Attack Other (put down).

What are the 4 faces of shame?

The Four Faces of Shame: Withdrawal, Attack Self, Avoidance, Attack Other – healing attachment wounds – Delphi Centre Training & Consulting.

What are the 4 elements of shame?

Sociologist Brené Brown has identified four basic components of shame resilience: recognizing shame and understanding its triggers, practicing critical awareness of the influences leading to shame, reaching out to others, and naming shame when it occurs.

How to Heal from Shame, Guilt and Regret

What is the root emotion of shame?

The root of shame lies in a perceived or actual threat to our sense of belonging and self-worth, often stemming from early childhood experiences like critical parenting, abuse, or neglect, where negative messages become internalized as "I am bad," rather than "I did something bad," leading to feelings of defectiveness and a desire to hide. It serves as a social regulator, pushing individuals to conform, but becomes toxic when it internalizes external blame or trauma, creating a cycle of self-criticism. 

What body part holds shame?

Shame, particularly toxic shame, is believed to be stored in various parts of the body, manifesting as physical sensations, tension, and discomfort. Common areas where individuals may experience these bodily manifestations include the chest, stomach, and throat.

What trauma causes shame?

When childhood trauma includes sexual abuse, when abuse happens at earlier ages or when a survivor believes that they were at fault for the abuse or even enjoyed aspects of the abuse, shame can be far worse and very painful.

Which organ holds shame?

Two key areas of the brain are activated by shame: the prefrontal cortex and the posterior insula. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain associated with moral reasoning. This is where judgements about the self occur. The posterior insula is the part of the brain that engages visceral sensations in the body.

What is the true trigger of shame?

In fact, even the highest contributors tended to feel shame when excluded. These findings strongly suggest that the true trigger of shame is the prospect or actuality of being devalued by others.

What two emotions make shame?

" The key emotion in all forms of shame is contempt (Miller, 1984; Tomkins, 1967). Two realms in which shame is expressed are the consciousness of self as bad and self as inadequate.

What are the 4 pillars of emotional?

For the purposes of these lessons, we have chosen to use Daniel Goleman's model with four domains: self- awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.

What is the core of shame?

Shame is the feeling that there's something wrong with you. It's not about having done something wrong (that's guilt), no, shame arises from the core belief that you are simply not good enough. Sadly, it's a core belief that is common among those who struggle with mental health and addiction issues.

What mental illness is associated with shame?

Shame is a self-conscious emotion of trans-diagnostic relevance. Increased levels of shame have been related to various mental disorders including social phobia, major depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorder, psychosis, and posttraumatic stress disorder (24, 25).

What is shame according to Brené Brown?

Brené Brown's definition of shame is “the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging—something we've experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection” (Brown, 2013).

What are the 4 basic emotions?

There are four kinds of basic emotions: happiness, sadness, fear, and anger, which are differentially associated with three core affects: reward (happiness), punishment (sadness), and stress (fear and anger).

What is the cure for shame?

Healing shame involves cultivating self-compassion, connecting with trusted others to share your experience (as vulnerability counters shame), identifying triggers and unrealistic expectations, practicing mindfulness, and seeking professional help like therapy (CBT, CFT) to reframe negative self-judgment and build resilience, ultimately replacing shame with authentic pride and connection. 

What hormone is released during shame?

Oxytocin has been suggested to play an important role in socially and morally associated emotions such as shame and guilt.

What chakra is responsible for shame?

Our sacral chakra is our second energy center and governs our emotions, sexuality, creativity, and manifestation. These things are all related, and when we carry extreme shame or other negative emotion about one, it can greatly affect the others.

What heals shame?

Self-compassion is an antidote to shame. Dr. Kristin Neff, a leading expert on self-compassion, suggests that treating oneself with kindness, recognizing one's experiences as part of the larger human experience, and holding one's feelings in mindful awareness are key components of self-compassion.

What are signs of unhealed childhood trauma?

Signs of unhealed childhood trauma in adults often appear as persistent anxiety, depression, difficulty with emotional regulation, trust issues, and trouble forming healthy relationships, alongside behavioral patterns like substance misuse, self-harm, perfectionism, or people-pleasing, stemming from disrupted nervous systems and internalizing negative childhood experiences. These signs can manifest as chronic health issues, sleep problems, hypervigilance (being constantly on guard), dissociation (feeling detached), or emotional numbness. 

How to release trauma trapped in the body?

Releasing trauma trapped in the body involves mind-body practices like somatic therapy, yoga, breathwork, meditation, and mindful movement (shaking, rocking) to safely access and discharge stored tension, alongside professional help like EMDR or Trauma-Focused Therapy, all focused on reconnecting with physical sensations, regulating the nervous system, and finding felt safety. Key techniques include deep breathing (long exhales), rhythmic exercises (bouncing, swaying), and conscious stretching (like yoga hip openers) to release physical holding patterns. 

What is shame trying to tell you?

Alternatively, shame tells you, “I am bad,” and it motivates you to freeze in place, often leading to inaction. Shame, then, occurs when your mind has decided that you are globally a bad person because of something you have done, which is a much more paralyzing experience.

What emotion is stored in the knees?

Knees are often linked to emotions like fear of moving forward, lack of support, resistance to change, and stubbornness, representing our willingness to bend, yield, or adapt in life, with physical issues sometimes signaling deep-seated insecurity or unresolved emotional pressure about life's direction. They symbolize humility and surrender, so pain or stiffness can indicate a struggle to let go, accept help, or move past old traumas, with left knee issues potentially tied to future action and the right to past judgments, notes Infinite Body Awareness. 

How to remove shame from your body?

Practice Self-Compassion: Self-compassion is the antidote to shame. Research has shown that self-compassion is associated with increased well-being, resilience, and happiness. Self-compassion is a powerful tool to release shame from your body and counteract perfectionism and self-judgment.