What are the seven stages of trauma bonding?

The 7 stages of trauma bonding describe a cycle where an abuser builds intense attachment through phases like Love Bombing, creating Trust & Dependency, then devaluing with Criticism & Gaslighting, leading to the victim's Resignation & Loss of Self, culminating in Emotional Addiction to the intermittent rewards, repeating the harmful cycle. This process fosters a powerful, unhealthy bond where the victim feels deeply attached to the person who causes them pain, often seeing them as their only hope.

What are the 7 stages of trauma bonding?

The 7 stages of trauma bonding, a cycle of abuse and intermittent kindness, typically progress from intense idealization (love bombing) to creating dependency, followed by criticism and gaslighting, leading to the victim's resignation, loss of self, and eventual addiction to the cycle, making it hard to leave. This pattern involves the abuser creating an intense bond through affection, then eroding the victim's self-esteem and reality, trapping them through a cycle of stress and intermittent relief, writes Sandstone Care and Attachment Project.
 

How to break free from trauma bonding?

Breaking free from a trauma bond involves acknowledging the unhealthy cycle, seeking professional therapy and support, cutting contact (no contact), establishing firm boundaries, practicing intense self-care, and rebuilding self-worth by challenging negative beliefs and reconnecting with yourself and healthy relationships, understanding it's a withdrawal-like process. 

How long does a trauma bond take to heal?

Breaking a trauma bond has no set timeline, varying from months to years, depending on the relationship's intensity, duration, and the individual's support system, but professional therapy significantly speeds up progress by addressing unhealthy patterns, while healing involves patience, self-compassion, and acknowledging that setbacks are normal. 

How do I know if I'm trauma bonded?

You know you're trauma bonded if you feel addicted to an unpredictable, abusive cycle, constantly justify the other person's bad behavior, feel isolated, walk on eggshells, experience intense highs/lows (love bombing/devaluation), feel guilty about leaving, and prioritize their needs over your own, even when they're harmful. It's an unhealthy attachment where your self-worth gets tied to an abuser, making it hard to leave despite the pain. 

7 Stages Of Trauma Bonding

What is the 3 6 9 rule in relationships?

The 3-6-9 rule in relationships is a guideline suggesting relationship milestones: the first 3 months are the infatuation ("honeymoon") phase, the next 3 (months 3-6) involve deeper connection and tests, and by 9 months, couples often see true compatibility, habits, and long-term potential, moving from feeling to decision-making. It's not a strict law but a framework to pace yourselves, manage expectations, and recognize common psychological shifts from initial spark to realistic partnership.
 

Do I love him or am I just trauma bonded?

“Love shouldn't hurt.”

Trauma bonds form when cycles of abuse create a powerful attachment to someone who also causes pain. Unlike love, which is defined by affection, care and respect, trauma bonds often lack mutual concern and safety. They typically stem from prolonged manipulation or interpersonal trauma.

Can trauma bond become true love?

A trauma bond can potentially shift towards something resembling love, but it's extremely rare and requires deep individual healing, breaking unhealthy cycles, and rebuilding safety from scratch, as trauma bonds are fundamentally about addiction to chaotic emotional highs and lows, not stable, genuine connection, and most often trap people in abuse. Real love thrives on safety, trust, and respect, while trauma bonds rely on intermittent reinforcement (abuse/reward) that hijacks the brain's reward system, creating a powerful, addictive attachment that feels intense but isn't healthy. 

What are four symptoms of psychological trauma?

Generally, PTSD symptoms are grouped into four types: intrusive memories, avoidance, negative changes in thinking and mood, and changes in physical and emotional reactions. Symptoms can vary over time or vary from person to person.

Does crying release trauma?

Yes, crying is a natural and vital way your body releases pent-up energy and stress from trauma, signaling your nervous system to shift from "fight-or-flight" to a calming, healing state, allowing you to process deep emotions, reduce tension, and find relief, often accompanied by physical signs like shaking or muscle relaxation as the stored pain surfaces. 

What happens to your brain in a trauma bond?

Trauma bonding hijacks the brain's reward system, creating an addictive cycle by mixing abuse with affection (intermittent reinforcement), releasing feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin alongside stress hormones (cortisol), which strengthens attachment and dependence, making it hard to leave, while also dysregulating stress responses, leading to hypervigilance and impaired emotional regulation. This biochemical rollercoaster wires the brain to crave the abuser for both comfort and danger, altering brain structure and function over time, impacting self-worth, decision-making, and mental health. 

What are the 3 C's of trauma?

Leanne Johnson has developed the 3 Cs Model of Trauma Informed Practice – Connect, Co-Regulate and Co-Reflect. It is a comprehensive approach based on the current evidence base, emphasising the importance of relationships that young people require in trauma recovery.

What are the withdrawal symptoms of a trauma bond?

Leaving a trauma bond triggers intense withdrawal symptoms, like powerful cravings, anxiety, depression, and confusion, similar to addiction, affecting your mind, emotions, and body with insomnia, fatigue, appetite changes, headaches, and restlessness as your brain and nervous system readjust. You might feel intense longing, guilt, fear, or even anger, struggling to cope with the sudden absence of the person who caused harm but also offered intermittent reward.
 

How do trauma bonds begin?

In contrast, trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. The target of the abuse typically develops sympathy for the abuser due to the cycles of affection and maltreatment they endure. As a result, the target forms a connection or attachment with their abuser and is reinforced to stay within the relationship.

What are the 7 core traumas?

Types of Trauma in Psychology

• Big “T” Trauma. Some people use the term “Big T trauma” to describe the most life-altering events. ...
• Little “T” Trauma. ...
• Chronic Trauma. ...
• Complex Trauma. ...
• Insidious Trauma. ...
• Secondary Trauma. ...
• Intergenerational, Historical, Collective, or Cultural Trauma.

How to release trauma trapped in the body?

Releasing trauma trapped in the body involves mind-body practices like somatic therapy, yoga, breathwork, meditation, and mindful movement (shaking, rocking) to safely access and discharge stored tension, alongside professional help like EMDR or Trauma-Focused Therapy, all focused on reconnecting with physical sensations, regulating the nervous system, and finding felt safety. Key techniques include deep breathing (long exhales), rhythmic exercises (bouncing, swaying), and conscious stretching (like yoga hip openers) to release physical holding patterns. 

What are the signs of an emotionally traumatized person?

Emotional trauma symptoms involve intrusive memories, avoidance, negative mood/thoughts (like guilt, shame, fear), and heightened arousal (irritability, being jumpy, sleep issues), often leading to social withdrawal, difficulty concentrating, numbness, or intense emotional reactions, with many symptoms mirroring PTSD, requiring professional help if persistent and disruptive. 

What is silent PTSD?

Some of it is quiet. Subtle. Invisible even to the people experiencing it. This is called "quiet trauma,"and it can be just as impactful, even if it doesn't “look” traumatic on the outside. The wounds it leaves behind often go unacknowledged for years, because they're easy to dismiss or normalize.

What not to say to someone with trauma?

When talking to someone with trauma, avoid minimizing statements like "get over it," "it could be worse," or "look on the bright side," as these invalidate their feelings; don't pressure them to talk, blame them, or claim "I know how you feel," but instead offer support, respect their boundaries, and validate their current feelings by saying, "I'm here for you" or "You're safe now". Focus on their present safety and validate their struggle without judgment, as trauma impacts people differently and healing isn't linear. 

What is the 2 2 2 rule in love?

So what is the 2-2-2 rule? Every 2 Weeks: Go on a date. Every 2 Months: Take a weekend away. Every 2 Years: Plan a getaway together.

How long do trauma bonds typically last?

The trauma bond can last from days to weeks, months, and years. The trauma bond develops over seven stages in which the abuser practices manipulative cycles of dependence forging and abuse.

How to tell if someone is trauma bonded to you?

Characteristics of a Trauma Bond Relationship

1. Lying about the abuse to friends and family.
2. Feeling like the abuse is your fault.
3. Constantly trying to explain your partner's defects in a positive light.
4. Feeling like you have no choice in the relationship.
5. Believing that you can change the abuser's behavior over time.

Can you have a healthy relationship with someone you trauma bonded with?

Is Trauma Bonding Real Love? Often, partners in a trauma bond mistake their emotional connection for real love when the feelings are a result of an abusive cycle. However, trauma bonding will not turn into a healthy relationship as much as a person wants to believe it.

How to tell love from trauma bond?

- Wholehearted Love: Relationships bring joy, fulfilment, and a sense of security. - Trauma Bonds: Rollercoaster emotions and a cycle of unsustainable and unrealistic highs and anxiety provoking lows which feel like threats to the bond characterise the relationship.

How to break a trauma bond and stay together?

Breaking a trauma bond and staying together is incredibly challenging, requiring deep self-work, professional therapy (like CBT/DBT) to shift patterns, building a strong support system outside the relationship, setting strict boundaries (often involving space or no contact), and recognizing the abuser's actions versus who they could be, focusing on healing yourself first to see if the relationship can become truly safe and healthy, which often requires significant, consistent change from the abusive partner.