What is a borderline personality favorite person?

This is where the term “favorite person” comes from in the borderline community. There is usually one of two people that we absolutely idolize and want to spend all our time with, and if they are busy and can't spend time with us we tend to get angry and feel abandoned.


Do borderlines choose their favorite person?

MD. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often rotate between idolizing and devaluing others. In the case of the “favorite person,” the individual with BPD prefers one person and wants to spend all their time with them.

How do you know if someone is your favorite person in BPD?

16 Signs People With Borderline Personality Disorder Knew They Had a 'Favorite Person'
  1. “I think about that person constantly.” ...
  2. “He can make me want to live when I want to die.” ...
  3. “If I don't hear from them, it causes fear.” ...
  4. “I knew he was my FP when the black and white thinking started.”


Why do BPD people have a favorite person?

For a person with BPD there are significant fears of abandonment and they will attach to a favourite person and rely on this person for emotional validation and security. Their favourite person becomes the source of their comfort and devotion.

How do you deal with a favorite person with BPD?

With this in mind, I created my own 'golden rules' for keeping my FP friendship healthy:
  1. Time Apart. Spending too much time with anyone isn't healthy. ...
  2. Include Others. Spending time together with other people has really helped my friendship with John for a couple of reasons. ...
  3. Don't Act Impulsively. ...
  4. Honesty. ...
  5. Forgive.


Favorite Person & Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)



Can someone with BPD have two favorite persons?

An “FP” (or Favorite Person) is a person who someone with mental illness relies on for support, and often looks up to or idolizes. Common with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it's often that someone has a minimum of one FP, but a person can have many.

How does a borderline react to no contact?

Along with high emotions - the borderline partner's fear of abandonment may be triggered and they may try harder to hold onto the relationship - or possibly they won't be able to cope and will seek retribution.

How long do BPD relationships last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.


How do people with BPD show affection?

Affection – People with BPD are either extremely affectionate or withdrawn, which may be confusing for those who don't have the disorder. Abandonment – Lots of people are scared that their partner isn't happy; but when you have BPD, you may be in constant worry that they will leave.

What does it feel like to have an FP?

Within the context of BPD, an FP represents a person who is a source of comfort and an anchor. They are different from a best friend in that they are a person on whom you depend emotionally. They provide emotional validation and security and you may start to believe that they are the only person who can make you happy.

Are borderlines aware of their behavior?

People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.


Can someone with BPD change their favorite person?

Yes, BPD (Borderline personality disorder) people often change their favorite people, for example, they admire a group of musicians but at the same time, they also like another music group. For this reason, their favorite person often changed.

Why do BPD give silent treatment?

Someone suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) may start giving you the silent treatment. Manipulation, difficulty controlling and regulating emotions, and the consequences of fear of abandonment are the most common causes of this behavior.

Are people with BPD more attractive?

Those with borderline personality disorder have problems regulating emotional impulses and often experience rocky relationships. But new research suggests that many men find traits associated with borderline personality disorder to be appealing in physically attractive women.


How can you tell if a woman is borderline?

There are a handful of medically recognized symptoms of borderline personality disorder.
  • Instability in Relationships. ...
  • Extreme Emotional Swings. ...
  • Explosive Feelings of Anger. ...
  • Self-Harm. ...
  • Lingering Feelings of Emptiness or Worthlessness. ...
  • Feeling Out of Touch With Reality.


Can you have BPD and not have a favorite person?

Having a favorite person is not anywhere in the criteria for BPD either. Many with BPD have a FP, but many don't.

What does a relationship between two people with BPD look like?

A romantic relationship with someone with BPD can be, in a word, stormy. It's not uncommon to experience a great deal of turmoil and dysfunction. However, people with BPD can be exceptionally caring, compassionate, and affectionate. In fact, some people find this level of devotion from a partner pleasant.


Are borderlines clingy?

People with BPD can act overly needy. If you take them out of their comfort zone, or when they feel “abandoned” they can become a burden.

Do borderlines get jealous easily?

In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.

Why are narcissists attracted to borderlines?

According to Elinor Greenberg, PhD, “Borderline and Narcissistic individuals often fall in love because they are at approximately the same level with regard to their “Intimacy Skills.” They both are likely to be in the early stages of learning how to successfully maintain intimate relationships.


How do you tell if a borderline loves you?

How do you know if a person with BPD loves you?
  • Consistent need for reassurance.
  • Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you.
  • Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
  • Fear that you will leave them or no longer love them.


Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

What kind of attachment do borderlines have?

The types of attachment found to be most characteristic of BPD subjects are unresolved, preoccupied, and fearful. In each of these attachment types, individuals demonstrate a longing for intimacy and—at the same time—concern about dependency and rejection.


Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

Are BPD relationships toxic?

Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.