What is a Favourite person in BPD?

This is where the term “favorite person” comes from in the borderline community. There is usually one of two people that we absolutely idolize and want to spend all our time with, and if they are busy and can't spend time with us we tend to get angry and feel abandoned.


What is a BPD favorite person?

A favorite person is the center of attention of an individual living with BPD. This means they consider this person as a trusted friend, confidant, and counselor all wrapped in one. Dr. Roberts notes that the person with BPD demonstrates an “anxious-preoccupied attachment style.”

Can someone with BPD have more than one favorite person?

An “FP” (or Favorite Person) is a person who someone with mental illness relies on for support, and often looks up to or idolizes. Common with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it's often that someone has a minimum of one FP, but a person can have many.


How do you know if someone is your favorite person in BPD?

If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you: Consistent need for reassurance. Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you. Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.

Why do people with BPD need a favorite person?

For a person with BPD there are significant fears of abandonment and they will attach to a favourite person and rely on this person for emotional validation and security. Their favourite person becomes the source of their comfort and devotion.


Favorite Person & Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)



How do I let go of my favorite person in BPD?

Be grateful that you had your favorite person, for as long as you did. Think about what experiences and lessons you have learned from that person. Practice personal gratitude for the time you had together, rather than demonizing that former favorite person. When you are in a better state of mind, you will move on.

How do people with BPD show affection?

Affection – People with BPD are either extremely affectionate or withdrawn, which may be confusing for those who don't have the disorder. Abandonment – Lots of people are scared that their partner isn't happy; but when you have BPD, you may be in constant worry that they will leave.

How do you know if you have an FP?

People with this syndrome constantly reach out to their favorite person, especially when they are not responding to their texts and calls. As people experiencing FP feel the need to be constantly connected to their favorite person, they might become upset or anxious if they show signs of losing contact with them.


How long do BPD relationships last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.

How does a borderline react to no contact?

Along with high emotions - the borderline partner's fear of abandonment may be triggered and they may try harder to hold onto the relationship - or possibly they won't be able to cope and will seek retribution.

What is BPD splitting?

Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.


What is euphoria in BPD?

Episodes can also be extreme highs, bursts of euphoria and positive emotions. Due to the highly impulsive nature of those suffering from BPD, it is important to realise these emotional highs are also episodes of the disorder. Risky behavior is also a symptom of a BPD episode.

Can people with BPD be abusive?

Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) or those with BPD who may not even know they have it, are more likely than the general population to be verbally, emotionally/psychologically, physically abusive.

Do borderlines get obsessed?

They can even become obsessive. These emotional switchbacks can be difficult to handle. Sometimes they can lead to uncomfortable public scenes. The impulsive behavior of a person with BPD may put that person or their partner at risk, too.


Does BPD count as a disability?

The Social Security Administration placed borderline personality disorder as one of the mental health disorders on its disabilities list. However, you'll have to meet specific criteria for an official disability finding. For example, you must prove that you have the symptoms of the condition.

How do you deal with a FP?

With this in mind, I created my own 'golden rules' for keeping my FP friendship healthy:
  1. Time Apart. Spending too much time with anyone isn't healthy. ...
  2. Include Others. Spending time together with other people has really helped my friendship with John for a couple of reasons. ...
  3. Don't Act Impulsively. ...
  4. Honesty. ...
  5. Forgive.


Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.


What causes borderline rage?

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

Are BPD relationships toxic?

Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.

How do you let go of a FP BPD?

Healing from Heartbreak with BPD
  1. Remember this emotion is temporary. ...
  2. Ride the emotions like a wave. ...
  3. Don't expect others to feel as strongly as you feel. ...
  4. Take a step back before reacting. ...
  5. Be kind to yourself.


What is a FP favorite person?

Within the context of BPD, an FP represents a person who is a source of comfort and an anchor. They are different from a best friend in that they are a person on whom you depend emotionally. They provide emotional validation and security and you may start to believe that they are the only person who can make you happy.

Can two people with BPD date?

While relationships can be challenging when one or both partners have BPD, healthy bonds are still possible. Learning more about the condition and seeking professional support can be helpful steps.

What makes a BPD feel loved?

One person told us they felt loved whenever they had their picture taken. Another felt loved when they got any sort of attention — good or bad. One person said that being asked to rate their mood on a scale of one to 10 made them feel validated and secure.


How do you tell if a borderline loves you?

How do you know if a person with BPD loves you?
  • Consistent need for reassurance.
  • Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you.
  • Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
  • Fear that you will leave them or no longer love them.


What kind of attachment do borderlines have?

The types of attachment found to be most characteristic of BPD subjects are unresolved, preoccupied, and fearful. In each of these attachment types, individuals demonstrate a longing for intimacy and—at the same time—concern about dependency and rejection.