What is codependency trauma bonding?

The Trauma-Bonded codependent
It's a coping mechanism for a traumatic situation in which you feel loyalty to and dependence on your abuser. It often occurs when the abuser goes through cycles of abuse and affection. They treat you badly but always go back to a pattern of being loving and caring.


Is codependency the same as trauma bonding?

In order to heal and find trauma resolution, a person must be able and willing to see how their compulsive behavior only aids in forming trauma bonds and therefore they must break the compulsivity. Codependency on the other hand, focuses more on the addiction.

How do you break a trauma bond of codependency?

Outside of getting professional support, here are some steps you can take on your own to break free from a trauma bonded relationship:
  1. Educate Yourself. ...
  2. Focus on the Here and Now. ...
  3. Create Some Space. ...
  4. Find Support. ...
  5. Practice Good Self-Care. ...
  6. Make Future Plans. ...
  7. Develop Healthy Relationships. ...
  8. Give Yourself Permission to Heal.


What kind of trauma causes codependency?

Codependency can be hinged on attachment trauma. This can lead a person to question if they're loved and worthy, if others are and can be available and responsive to them, and if the world is safe for them.

What are signs of trauma bonding?

Signs of trauma bonding
  • agree with the abusive person's reasons for treating them badly.
  • try to cover for the abusive person.
  • argue with or distance themselves from people trying to help, such as friends, family members, or neighbors.


Codependency & The Trauma Bond



What are the 7 stages of trauma bonding?

The seven stages of trauma bonding are:
  • Love Bombing. Love bombing involves the sudden, intense attempt to create a “we” in a relationship through high praise and excessive flattery. ...
  • Trust & Dependency. ...
  • Criticism. ...
  • Manipulation & Gaslighting. ...
  • Resignation & Giving Up. ...
  • Loss of Self. ...
  • Addiction to the Cycle.


Can you love someone and be trauma bonded?

Much like love bombing, trauma bonds can give the resemblance of love. They're often confused for love because of the trying nature, and when you love someone, you do try. Trauma bond relationships are driven by fear, not love, which is the biggest differentiator between trauma bonds and love.

What is the root of codependency?

Codependency is usually rooted in childhood. Often, a child grows up in a home where their emotions are ignored or punished. This emotional neglect can give the child low self-esteem and shame. They may believe their needs are not worth attending to.


What are the signs of a codependent person?

Signs of codependency include:
  • Difficulty making decisions in a relationship.
  • Difficulty identifying your feelings.
  • Difficulty communicating in a relationship.
  • Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself.
  • Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem.


What are 10 characteristics of a codependent person?

Codependent Traits
  • Feeling responsible for solving others' problems. ...
  • Offering advice even if it isn't asked for. ...
  • Poor communication regarding feelings, wants, or needs. ...
  • Difficulty adjusting to change. ...
  • Expecting others to do as you say. ...
  • Difficulty making decisions. ...
  • Chronic anger. ...
  • Feeling used and underappreciated.


How does a codependent detach?

Codependency expert Melody Beattie says that when we detach, “we relinquish our tight hold and our need to control in our relationships. We take responsibility for ourselves; we allow others to do the same.”


Is being codependent toxic?

Codependency in relationships can be extremely toxic, especially to the individual who is struggling with the codependent issues. A codependent person tends to make their relationship more important than anything else—including their own well-being.

What causes a person to become codependent?

Codependence is thought to develop when a child grows up in a dysfunctional family environment where fear, anger, and shame go unacknowledged. The dynamic leads family members to withhold from expressing (repressing) their emotions and ignore their own needs.

What attachment style do codependents have?

Anxious attachment is what is most often referred to as codependent. Those with anxious attachment often feel as though they would like to be close to others or one person in particular but they worry that another person may not want to be close to them. They struggle with feeling inferior, never good enough.


What are the two sides of codependency?

Codependent: The codependent has no personal identity, interests, or values outside of their codependent relationship. Dependent: Both people can express their emotions and needs and find ways to make the relationship beneficial for both of them.

What mental illness causes codependency?

Mental health experts borrowed criteria of codependent behavior from dependent personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and histrionic personality disorder. Even without a clear diagnosis, giving up on someone with mental illness should be avoided.

Are codependents narcissists?

People with narcisissm can also be codependent

People who have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can also experience codependency, due to the attention they're getting from their relationship. Since both conditions are rooted in an unhealthy reliance on other people, it's common to have overlap.


Can a codependent person love?

A codependent relationship can look like love, but it isn't. Love is predicated on choice, the choice to support and care for another. If you are dependent on another person for your emotional security and welfare, then the relationship is no longer based on love. Instead, it is based on need.

Are codependents Empaths?

Empaths can have codependent tendencies but not all codependents are empaths. The difference is that empaths absorb the stress, emotions, and physical symptoms of others, something not all codependents do.

What are the three steps to heal from codependency?

Recovering from codependency involves: 1) Establishing boundaries, 2) Taking responsibility for your health and happiness, 3) Getting to know yourself, and 4) Learning to love yourself.


How do you break a codependency cycle?

Some healthy steps to healing your relationship from codependency include:
  1. Start being honest with yourself and your partner. ...
  2. Stop negative thinking. ...
  3. Don't take things personally. ...
  4. Take breaks. ...
  5. Consider counseling. ...
  6. Rely on peer support. ...
  7. Establish boundaries.


What are the 6 pillars of codependency?

Below are six of the defining characteristics of codependency: poor boundaries, a weak sense of self, unhealthy emotional dependency and caretaking, controlling behaviors, difficulty with intimacy, and being uncomfortable with feelings.

What kind of people trauma bond?

Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.


How hard is it to break a trauma bond?

Due to the toxic nature of a trauma bonded relationship, individuals suffering abuse will find it difficult to leave the relationship. Loved ones may have difficulty understanding why the person experiencing abuse does not just end the relationship. However, breaking free of a trauma bond often takes time and support.

What is trauma dumping?

Trauma dumping is when someone shares traumatic details or events without another person's consent. Before confiding in someone, it's important to make sure that they can properly support you. If someone shares a trauma with you, try your best to listen with empathy and without judgment.