What is customary to give at a funeral?

Flowers are the most traditional funeral gift. They're a simple way to honor the person who has passed. These are so common that they're even known as “sympathy flowers” or “funeral flowers” by florists. Make sure you know how to send flowers to the funeral to ensure proper timing.


How much money should you give to someone at a funeral?

How Much Should You Give? The traditional gift is the amount you would have spent on flowers for the service, generally between $50 and $100.

Is it proper etiquette to give money at a funeral?

It's common for people to give money at birthdays, weddings, but at funerals giving money isn't always a respectful gift. However, the protocols can sometimes be altered and people may still offer money if that's how they feel, or the grieving family needs the help.


What is a customary gift for funeral?

Flowers, sympathy cards, custom keepsakes, and donations are all appropriate gifts to bring to a funeral. While a gift is certainly not required, it can be a thoughtful way to communicate your love for those grieving. Flower and plant arrangements can often be sent to the funeral home prior to the service.

Do you give a card at a funeral?

Another traditional gift to bring to a funeral is sympathy cards. You can bring either in combination with flowers or on their own. The most important thing to consider is what to write on a sympathy card. Don't overthink it and write from your heart a few lines that should comfort the bereaved.


Funeral Etiquette - How to Behave, DOs and DON'Ts



What should you not do at a funeral?

10 Things NOT to Do at a Funeral
  • 10 Things Not to Do at a Funeral. ...
  • Don't be late. ...
  • Don't dress for a club, party, or the beach. ...
  • Don't let your phone ring, chime, or ding. ...
  • Don't text, surf, or otherwise be glued to your cellphone. ...
  • Don't forget the purpose of the occasion. ...
  • Don't cause a scene.


What should not be in a sympathy card?

What not to write in a sympathy card
  • “You will…”
  • “You should…”
  • “I know exactly how you feel.”
  • “He was too young…”
  • “It's for the best.”
  • “They're in a better place now.”
  • “You can always remarry” or “You'll meet someone else.”
  • “At least they lived a long life.”


Is it rude not to bring anything to a funeral?

If you're asking whether you should bring a gift to a funeral service, the answer is generally yes. While a gift is not usually required to attend the service, it's considered polite not to arrive empty-handed.


What do you bring for condolences?

Condolence Gift Etiquette 101: What to Bring to Show You Care
  • Flowers. Flowers are the most traditional gifts for a funeral. ...
  • A Donation. Many people choose to send a donation in lieu of a funeral gift. ...
  • Mementos. A memento is a less common option that is still an appropriate gift for a funeral. ...
  • A Home-Cooked Meal.


Is it necessary to give money in a sympathy card?

Although it may seem too easy to give money since you don't have to spend time picking out something special, it is often the most appreciated gift of all. In addition to funeral expenses, there may be other things that the survivors need, particularly if the deceased was a primary or partial breadwinner in the family.

How much money should you give in a sympathy card?

Amount of Money in a Sympathy Card

There is no hard and fast rule for how much money you should put into a sympathy card. It is important to consider how much you can afford and the need of the family. You don't want to put financial constraints on your family because of giving.


What can I give instead of flowers?

Use these flower alternatives to find the perfect gifts to send to a friend:
  • Pizza. For fun gifts to send in the mail, consider frozen pizzas. ...
  • Snacks. ...
  • Wine. ...
  • A Gift Basket or Box. ...
  • A Subscription Box. ...
  • Plants. ...
  • A Photo Album or Book. ...
  • Something Handmade.


Is it rude to put money in a sympathy card?

How do you properly give money to a grieving family member? Tucking cash or a check inside a sympathy card is a great way to offer support. Include a check if you mail the card. You may only want to include cash if you present the card to the family at the visitation or funeral.

What should you not say to the family at a funeral?

Here are seven things to avoid saying at a funeral or to someone grieving the loss of a loved one.
  • “They're an angel now.”
  • “I know how you feel.”
  • “They look so good.”
  • “Don't cry” or “Go ahead and cry.”
  • “At least it wasn't worse.”
  • “God is sovereign.”
  • “Let me know if I can help.”
  • What can you say instead?


What should you not say after a funeral?

Don't tell friends or family members who are grieving that their loved one has gone to a better place. Never call the death a blessing or speculate that it was that person's time. Avoid saying anything that suggests that the loss of the loved one is a positive thing.

Is white disrespectful at a funeral?

As a neutral color, white should not be considered inappropriate at most North American funerals. Though you should ask the family hosting the service when in doubt, plain, neutral colors are generally acceptable for memorials. Wearing white in conjunction with other dark tones is absolutely appropriate.

What to say instead of sorry to hear that?

If you know the person very well, you might say something much more informal, such as:
  • That really sucks.
  • That's a shame.
  • That's awful/terrible.
  • What a pity!
  • Poor you!
  • Better luck next time.
  • I'm here for you if you need anything. ( rather informal)


What color should a sympathy card be?

The second guideline pertains to the actual writing of a sympathy card, which should be done in blue or black ink and never typed.

What is the most disrespectful thing to do at a funeral?

"Talking or being on your phone during the service is one of the most disrespectful things you could do at a funeral," says Myka Meier, Beaumont Etiquette founder and etiquette expert. It's important to be as present as possible. "Silence your phone, shut off your phone, or even just leave it behind.

Is it OK to smile at a funeral?

It's not only okay to smile at a funeral but it's also encouraged, especially when greeting the bereaved. Seeing someone smile at us can help lift our spirits. It's also a nonverbal way of showing support.


Can I wear jeans to a funeral?

Can you wear jeans to a funeral? Bottom line: jeans are not appropriate for a funeral. Unless the family requests them, you should avoid wearing denim to a funeral. However, if it's a casual, outdoor service, you can consider a dark (almost black denim) paired with a button-down shirt and blazer.

Is alcohol an appropriate sympathy gift?

It's not wrong to send a grieving person a sympathy gift basket with a selection of wine bottles. Wine is a substance that can lift the spirits so it is perfect for your friend at this time.

What do you give a grieving person without flowers?

So instead of flowers, here are three sympathy gifts to provide comfort and relaxation.
  • Weighted blanket. Weighted blankets can help with stress relief, and the weight can sometimes mimic the feeling of a hug. ...
  • Engraved candle. Candles are often associated with mourning. ...
  • Calming and pampering gift baskets.


When should you not give flowers?

10 Times It's Better NOT to Send Flowers
  • Anniversary. A framed photo of the couple is a great idea because it "allows the couple to see themselves together through someone else's eyes and commemorates that one moment in time," says Swann. ...
  • Birthday. ...
  • Congratulations. ...
  • Get Well. ...
  • Housewarming. ...
  • Apology. ...
  • New Baby. ...
  • Sympathy.


Why do people give money when someone dies?

It was once common for close friends and family members to give money to a family when someone died. This practice existed in part because handling all the details of death can be expensive, and loved ones often contributed to defray the cost.
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