What is it like talking to someone with BPD?

1 Their moods can be volatile and intense, and it may be hard to control anger. 1 In addition, people with BPD may feel like they're being abandoned at the smallest slight, and these feelings are very real. This can trigger an emotional reaction that interferes with healthy communication.


What is it like dealing with someone with BPD?

Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance. Partners and family members of people with BPD often describe the relationship as an emotional roller coaster with no end in sight.

How do you talk to someone with BPD?

How to Help
  1. Be patient.
  2. Be realistic.
  3. Try to separate facts from feelings.
  4. Validate feelings first.
  5. Listen actively and be sympathetic.
  6. Seek to distract when emotions rise.
  7. Do not allow yourself to be the product of the intense anger; attempt to diffuse it but sometimes you may have to walk away.


Do people with BPD have communication issues?

relationships and a restricted range of emotional expression in interpersonal settings. research and practice evidenceiv also demonstrate that people with borderline PD are more likely to experience impairments in their expressive language (communicating their message verbally).

What does it feel like to be in a relationship with someone with BPD?

A romantic relationship with someone with BPD can be, in a word, stormy. It's not uncommon to experience a great deal of turmoil and dysfunction. However, people with BPD can be exceptionally caring, compassionate, and affectionate. In fact, some people find this level of devotion from a partner pleasant.


What It's Like to Live With Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)



Who are borderlines attracted to?

Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.

Do people with BPD fall in love easily?

People affected by BPD often have highly unstable intimate relationships. Usually of above average intelligence, they tend to fall in love easily, sometimes without getting to know the person.

Why do borderlines push you away?

If someone has a borderline personality, they will always push people away, in fear of getting hurt. This is extremely difficult and painful for the people around them, as the sufferer can seem cold and angry, attention seeking, or not wanting help.


Why is it hard to communicate with BPD?

Communication may be difficult for people with BPD because they tend to see the world as either all good or all bad. 1 Their moods can be volatile and intense, and it may be hard to control anger.

How do you make a borderline feel loved?

Recognize in your loved one's abilities and help them realize their own potential rather than taking on their challenges for them. Let them know that you support them and believe in them. Help them take steps to become more self-sufficient, not less. Of course, this does not mean ignoring legitimate crises.

How do BPD express emotions?

Managing Emotions Despite BPD
  1. Incorporating stress-reduction techniques into your life.
  2. Exercising regularly.
  3. Using grounding techniques in moments of intense distress.
  4. Practicing mindfulness meditation.
  5. Expressing your emotions through writing.
  6. Educating yourself about BPD.


Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

What is BPD splitting?

Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.

Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.


Is it hard to date someone with BPD?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be difficult at times, but it doesn't have to be something that harms your relationship. BPD symptoms can include complex and unhealthy thought processes, anxiety, poor self-image, and dramatic mood swings.

What triggers BPD episodes?

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

How do you comfort someone with BPD?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.


How does BPD affect social interaction?

In the current study, we provide some evidence that this relation between BPD and a less supportive social context is also evident in adulthood. Individuals with BPD reported poorer social support, more conflict in their networks, and less connection to important people.

Does BPD affect social skills?

In everyday life, BPD patients often experience more unstable social relations than healthy controls as well as fewer social interactions and have sometimes been shown to use maladaptive resources for social support within their social network [143, 144].

Do borderlines choose their favorite person?

MD. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often rotate between idolizing and devaluing others. In the case of the “favorite person,” the individual with BPD prefers one person and wants to spend all their time with them.


Should I give someone with BPD space?

Don't walk away and leave them, but do respect their need for space. And let them know that. “I understand you need your space right now, but I'll be over here if you need me.” Don't leave the room. Just walk to the other side of the room and be there while also giving them their space.

Do borderlines sabotage?

Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging. It influences thoughts, emotions, behavior, and communication, adding a degree of volatility and unpredictability to daily living that can be unsettling for BPD sufferers and their loved ones.

How do you tell if a borderline loves you?

How do you know if a person with BPD loves you?
  • Consistent need for reassurance.
  • Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you.
  • Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
  • Fear that you will leave them or no longer love them.


Do borderlines get jealous?

These individuals often report feeling that emotions control their lives or even that they feel things more intensely than other people. In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness.

How long do BPD relationships last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.