What is Overexplaining?

overexplained; overexplaining. transitive + intransitive. : to explain (something) to an excessive degree. The stories tended to be as simple as a good children's picture-book, so that nothing needed to be overexplained.

What does it mean when someone overexplains?

(transitive) To explain at unnecessary length or in too much detail.

Why is overexplaining a trauma response?

Remember: Over-explaining is a trauma response designed to avoid conflict. “The logic behind fawning is that if a person does anything and everything they can to please the person who is trying to hurt them, that person might not follow through with the abusive behavior,” says Fenkel.

What does over explaining look like?

Over explaining (O/E thinking):

This can make you feel like you must say a lot, and/or say things in different ways, so that the person gaslighting you can't distort your words and make you look bad by using what you say against you.

What does it mean to overexplain yourself?

According to Banks, overexplaining can be a trauma response and can develop as a result of gaslighting. She adds that anxiety or ADHD can also lead to overexplaining and it can happen to those who grew up with a strict upbringing where “you had to justify your choices”.

Podcast 314: How over-explaining is linked to trauma + A Neurocycle to find the root and heal

Is oversharing a trauma response?

If you live with complex trauma or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), trauma dumping or oversharing could be a natural trauma response and coping mechanism.

How do I fix over explaining?

With this in mind, here are five of the tips I share with clients to stop over-explaining:
  1. Listen and put your listeners first. Too many of us think about what we want to say, instead of what people need to hear. ...
  2. Remember, less is more. ...
  3. Focus your message. ...
  4. Give the bottom line first. ...
  5. Make it a conversation.

What trauma causes fawning?

What types of trauma cause the fawn response? The fawn response is most commonly associated with childhood trauma and complex trauma — types of trauma that arise from repeat events, such as abuse or childhood neglect — rather than single-event trauma, such as an accident.

What is fawning behavior?

What is fawning? Fawning is a trauma response where a person develops people-pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict and to establish a sense of safety. In other words, the fawn trauma response is a type of coping mechanism that survivors of complex trauma adopt to "appease" their abusers.

What is trauma dumping?

Trauma dumping is when someone shares traumatic details or events without another person's consent. Before confiding in someone, it's important to make sure that they can properly support you. If someone shares a trauma with you, try your best to listen with empathy and without judgment.

Should I apologize for trauma dumping?

"Let them know that you are sorry to hear that they went through something traumatic and that you want them to get the appropriate help to heal from it.

Is overstimulation a trauma response?

Sensory overload is an experience shared by people with PTSD and all different sorts of trauma. It can feel uncomfortable or even scary, but it's a natural reaction to an overactive brain.

Does people-pleasing come from trauma?

A fourth, less discussed, response to trauma is called fawning, or people-pleasing. The fawn response is a coping mechanism in which individuals develop people-pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict, pacify their abusers, and create a sense of safety.

Why you should stop explaining yourself?

You are losing faith in yourself

When you are constantly explaining yourself, it becomes a pattern of behavior in which you feel you have to justify your choices. This is frustrating and exhausting! If someone disagrees with something that you did or said, it does not mean they don't trust you or think less of you.

How do I stop justifying myself?

How to Stop Justifying Yourself
  1. Admit you have a problem.
  2. Know when to be on high alert.
  3. Let humility toughen you up.
  4. Live with inconsistency.
  5. Be actively disconfirmation biased.
  6. Use self-justification to your advantage.

Why do I struggle to explain things?

Some possible reasons that come to mind are . You worry too much about what the others may think and feel about you , You are unsure about your own communication skills ,and get confused , as too many points flood your mind at the same time , which you cannot handle ,and decide which is important.

What kind of trauma causes people pleasing?

Fawning or people-pleasing can often be traced back to an event or series of events that caused a person to experience PTSD, more specifically Complex PTSD, or C-PTSD. Fortunately, C-PTSD can be approached and treated through comprehensive therapy.

How do you know if you are traumatized?

Intrusive memories

Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event. Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event. Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event.

What is considered complex trauma?

Complex trauma describes both children's exposure to multiple traumatic events—often of an invasive, interpersonal nature—and the wide-ranging, long-term effects of this exposure. These events are severe and pervasive, such as abuse or profound neglect.

Why do clients smile when talking about trauma?

Smiling when discussing trauma is a way to minimize the traumatic experience. It communicates the notion that what happened “wasn't so bad.” This is a common strategy that trauma survivors use in an attempt to maintain a connection to caretakers who were their perpetrators.

What is the root of people-pleasing?

Causes of people-pleasing

Low self-esteem: People who feel they are worth less than others may feel their needs are unimportant. They may advocate for themselves less or have less awareness of what they want. They may also feel that they have no purpose if they cannot help others.

What are four Behaviours of a person with trauma?

Adults may display sleep problems, increased agitation, hypervigilance, isolation or withdrawal, and increased use of alcohol or drugs. Older adults may exhibit increased withdrawal and isolation, reluctance to leave home, worsening of chronic illnesses, confusion, depression, and fear (DeWolfe & Nordboe, 2000b).

What causes people to over explain?

You may see over-explaining as a way to be honest or to boost another person's emotional state. It could also be that you are a chattier person, especially when you feel you can contribute to the situation, and, once stimulated, you talk too much.

Why do I feel the need to justify everything?

The need to justify our actions and decisions, especially the ones inconsistent with our beliefs, comes from the unpleasant feeling called cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is a state of tension that occurs whenever a person holds two inconsistent cognitions.

What is it called when you have trouble explaining things?

Apraxia of speech.

This disorder involves problems with speaking. People with this disorder have trouble saying what they want to say. It is sometimes called verbal apraxia.