What is the main speech at a funeral called?

The main speech at a funeral is called a eulogy, a tribute that honors the deceased by sharing memories, reflecting on their life, personality, achievements, and impact on others, often delivered by a close family member or friend. It's a way to celebrate the person's unique life and offer comfort to mourners, focusing on positive aspects and significant moments, and is sometimes also referred to as a funeral speech or tribute.

What is the speech at a funeral called?

A speech at a funeral is most commonly called a eulogy, which pays tribute to the deceased's life, personality, and achievements, often including personal memories or stories. It can also be referred to as a funeral speech or, in religious contexts, a homily, delivered by family, friends, or clergy to honor the person's life and offer comfort.
 

Who usually writes an eulogy?

A eulogy is typically written and delivered by someone who knew the deceased well, like a close family member (spouse, child, sibling) or a best friend, but it can also be a religious leader, a professional celebrant, or even an attendee if the family opens the floor, all aiming to share heartfelt memories, character, and impact of the person's life. The family usually decides who speaks, focusing on a personal tribute rather than professional writing skills, often gathering stories from others. 

What should you not say in a eulogy?

In a eulogy, you should avoid negativity, grudges, inappropriate jokes, excessive self-focus, and making things up, keeping the tone respectful, celebratory, and focused on the deceased's positive qualities and meaningful stories, not their faults, your personal drama, or lists of achievements. Don't use it to air grievances, settle scores, or dwell on the death itself; it's about honoring the life lived. 

What do you call the main speaker at a funeral?

At a funeral, speakers typically include the officiant (clergy or celebrant) who leads the service, eulogists (family, close friends, colleagues) who share memories, and readers (anyone) who recite poems or sacred texts, with options for multiple speakers or an open mic for spontaneous sharing, depending on the service's style (formal, religious, or celebration of life).
 

4 Tips for Successfully Speaking at a Funeral

Who normally gives the eulogy at a funeral?

A eulogy at a funeral is typically delivered by a close family member, a dear friend, or a religious leader (clergy/officiant), but it can be anyone who shared a special bond and has good public speaking skills, with options for multiple speakers or even open sharing at less formal services, focusing on honoring the deceased with memories and personality. 

Who cannot be a pallbearer?

In addition to gender, there are no specific requirements for who can serve as a pallbearer. The only requirement is that the individual must be physically able to carry the weight of the casket, which can weigh up to 400 pounds in total and 66 pounds per person (six handles).

What three colors should you not wear to a funeral?

You should generally never wear red, bright pink, orange, or yellow to a funeral, as these vibrant colors draw attention and are seen as inappropriate for solemn occasions; stick to traditional dark, subdued colors like black, navy, or gray to show respect and avoid distracting from the deceased. The goal is to blend in, not stand out, so avoid anything flashy or overly casual. 

What is the best last line of a eulogy?

End your eulogy with a brief goodbye statement. This doesn't have to be some big, elaborate line, just something simple that acknowledges that the deceased will be missed.

What are the 3 C's of death?

The Three C's are the primary worries children have when someone dies: Cause, Contagion, and Care. These concerns reflect how children understand death at different developmental stages.

What funeral directors don't want you to know?

Funeral directors don't want you to know you have significant choices to save money and control the service, such as buying caskets from other retailers, handling arrangements yourself (like using your home for services), and that embalming isn't always legally required, especially for cremation or quick burials, and refrigeration can be used instead. Key secrets include that funeral homes are businesses, you don't need package deals, sealed caskets don't truly preserve bodies, and you can request specific services like a rental casket insert for viewings.
 

What are common eulogy mistakes?

Too Long of a Speech

Another frequent misstep that many eulogy givers—and speech writers in general—make is speaking for too long. While it may be tempting to share every cherished memory or funny anecdote you have of the departed, it's best to keep the eulogy concise and respectful of the funeral service's timeline.

What is a good opening line for a eulogy?

For your opening statement, introduce yourself and who you were to the deceased. For example: “Hello everyone, for those of you that don't know me, I'm Jim and I'm Flora's oldest grandchild.” “Hi everybody, as Lisa just mentioned, my name is Tracey, and Anthony was my best friend from the age of 5.”

Is it OK to cry during a eulogy?

Of course, the aim will be to get through the speech without crying or getting too upset. But if you put too much pressure on yourself to be strong, it will become a stressful experience. Everyone is there for the same reason, to remember a lost loved one. It's OK to shed a tear or two.

What is the paper you get at a funeral called?

The paper you get at a funeral is usually called a funeral program, order of service, or memorial folder, a folded pamphlet or booklet that guides guests through the ceremony and serves as a keepsake, often containing the deceased's photo, obituary, service details (like readings, music, eulogy), and personal tributes. 

How long is a eulogy typically?

A eulogy is typically 3 to 10 minutes long, with 3 to 5 minutes being the most common for a concise, heartfelt tribute, though some can reach 10-15 minutes if multiple people are speaking or the life warrants more time. Aim for around 500-1000 words, but focus on sharing meaningful stories and reflections without rushing, ensuring it's heartfelt but not overly lengthy to keep the audience engaged. 

What is the most beautiful funeral song?

Unforgettable - Most Beautiful Funeral Songs

• Wind Beneath My Wings. Heavenly Sisters.
• Over the Rainbow. Heavenly Sisters.
• What a Wonderful World. Heavenly Sisters.
• My Way. Heavenly Sisters.
• My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme from Titanic) Heavenly Sisters.
• Time to Say Goodbye. Heavenly Sisters.
• Unchained Melody. ...
• You Raise Me Up.

What is the perfect eulogy?

A "perfect" eulogy is authentic, focusing on personal stories, cherished memories, and the unique qualities that defined the loved one, blending humor with sincerity, and offering a genuine glimpse into their character, accomplishments, and impact on others, all delivered with love and clarity. Key elements include introducing yourself and relationship, sharing specific anecdotes, highlighting character traits, noting accomplishments, and offering a heartfelt goodbye, often concluding with a meaningful quote or personal reflection.
 

How many words are in a 7 minute eulogy?

A eulogy with a word count between 500-1200 words should take between 3-8 minutes to speak at a relaxed pace. You can speak to the funeral director or directly to the venue for an idea of any time restrictions, but generally, you should be able to give a detailed, moving eulogy without being rushed.

What does purple mean at a funeral?

At a funeral, purple signifies dignity, respect, honor, and spiritual transformation, often symbolizing a life well-lived or adding elegance to a solemn occasion, while in some cultures, it represents penitence or suffering, but generally conveys deep reverence for the deceased and their impact. It's used in flowers, attire, or decor to show admiration and a hope for peace or resurrection, blending sorrow with a sense of lasting importance. 

What is inappropriate for a funeral?

At a funeral, avoid being late, dressing inappropriately (too flashy/casual), using your phone (texting, calls, social media), taking photos/videos without permission, gossiping, asking intrusive questions (how they died), making light of the situation, bringing uninvited food/drinks, or monopolizing family time. The key is to show respect for the deceased and support the grieving family by being somber, quiet, and focused on remembrance.
 

What kind of jewelry do you wear to a funeral?

Appropriate funeral jewelry is subtle, understated, and respectful, focusing on classic metals like silver, gold, or platinum, pearls, or muted stones (onyx, garnet) in minimalist designs like studs, simple chains, thin bracelets, or meaningful lockets, avoiding anything flashy, noisy, or brightly colored that draws attention away from the solemnity of the occasion. 

Why do you have to wait 3 days before cremation?

You have to wait a few days before cremation primarily due to legal requirements for permits, death certificates, and coroner approval, plus practical time for families to grieve, plan services, and make arrangements, with state laws mandating minimum waits (often 24-48 hours) to confirm death and ensure all paperwork is processed safely, preventing accidental cremation. 

What are common obituary mistakes to avoid?

Common Mistakes to Avoid when Writing an Obituary

• Avoid Making the Obituary About You. ...
• Don't Focus Just on Death. ...
• Listing People Who Were Appreciated. ...
• Avoid Clichés. ...
• Abbreviations. ...
• Don't Over Describe the Funeral.

Why do 6 men carry a casket?

Traditionally, there are six pallbearers at a funeral, as there are usually six handles on a casket (three on each side), though there are often two handles on the front and back sides of a casket, allowing for eight pallbearers. Pallbearers are usually close family members and friends.