What it's like to date a borderline?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be difficult at times, but it doesn't have to be something that harms your relationship. BPD symptoms can include complex and unhealthy thought processes, anxiety, poor self-image, and dramatic mood swings.

How does dating someone with BPD feel like?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.

Should you date someone with borderline personality disorder?

If you do decide to date (or continue dating) someone who has borderline personality disorder, keep in mind that if they're not in remission, their behaviors can create an unhealthy environment for not only you but also your children.

What kind of people do borderlines date?

Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.

How long do relationships with borderlines last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.

Borderline Personality Disorder: Tips for Dating Someone Who Has BPD

How do borderlines feel after a breakup?

Even the slightest touch or movement can create immense suffering.” Breakups are hard enough, but for those who identify with symptoms of BPD and have no “emotional skin”, losing the love and companionship of their favorite person can leave them feeling such unbearable pain that life itself is too much to bear.

Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

What are borderlines attracted to?

Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.

Do borderlines get obsessed?

If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you might have experience with being called “obsessive.” What loved ones may not realize though, is that for someone with BPD, the core issue is usually not about the object of the obsession — it's often the result of underlying symptoms of BPD.

What attachment style are borderlines?

The types of attachment found to be most characteristic of BPD subjects are unresolved, preoccupied, and fearful. In each of these attachment types, individuals demonstrate a longing for intimacy and—at the same time—concern about dependency and rejection.

Why are relationships hard for borderlines?

People with borderline personality disorder often find it difficult to trust other people . This, along with their fear of abandonment and tendency to idealize or devalue relationships, may make it difficult to ensure that this condition does not negatively impact relationships.

How do people with BPD act in a relationship?

Some relationship traits of a person with BPD include: difficulty trusting others. irrationally fearing others' intentions. quickly cutting off communication with someone they think might end up abandoning them.

Which celebrities have BPD?

Can BPD make you fall out of love?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) affects many areas of a person's life, including their relationships. People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship.

Are BPD relationships toxic?

Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.

Can BPD cause you to cheat?

Borderline personality disorder relationships and cheating may occur due to the impulsivity associated with this mental health condition. Recent research has shown people with BPD are more sexually impulsive and likely to engage in risky sexual behavior than those without BPD.

Are borderlines jealous?

In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.

Do borderlines sabotage?

Borderline personality disorder causes a broad range of reactions that can be considered self-destructive or self-sabotaging. It influences thoughts, emotions, behavior, and communication, adding a degree of volatility and unpredictability to daily living that can be unsettling for BPD sufferers and their loved ones.

Are borderlines loyal?

We're loyal partners and friends

Though there's often an assumption that we have unstable relationships – and in fact this is listed as one of the main symptoms of BPD – we are extremely loyal. As mentioned above, we tend to put ourselves last. Relationships are truly important to us, and our loyalty is strong.

What is a BPD favorite person?

A favorite person is the center of attention of an individual living with BPD. This means they consider this person as a trusted friend, confidant, and counselor all wrapped in one. Dr. Roberts notes that the person with BPD demonstrates an “anxious-preoccupied attachment style.”

Are borderlines clingy?

People with BPD can act overly needy. If you take them out of their comfort zone, or when they feel “abandoned” they can become a burden.

Do borderlines fantasize?

Romantic fantasization is a common feature of borderline personality disorder (BPD). The unpredictable emotional state associated with borderline personality disorder can cause confusing fluctuations in how borderlines view their romantic partners.

Do borderlines use Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is by no means unique to individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), but certain symptoms make it more likely for people with BPD to feel gaslighted by others and create circumstances where others feel gaslighted by them. Gaps in memory result from dissociation.

Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

How long does BPD rage last?

Intense and sometimes inappropriate rage is a characteristic of borderline personality disorder (BPD). A person with this condition has difficulty regulating their emotions or returning to their baseline. Extremes of rage and other intense emotions may last longer than might be expected, from a few hours to a few days.