What not to do to a person with borderline personality disorder?

Don't point out how you feel that they're wrong, try to win the argument, or invalidate their feelings, even when what they're saying is totally irrational. Do your best to stay calm, even when the person with BPD is acting out.


What not to say to someone with borderline personality?

  • “You're so emotionally unstable.” ...
  • “Why can't you hold down a relationship?” ...
  • “You don't need to get so angry all the time.” ...
  • “Pull yourself together!” ...
  • “You're so stupid, you spend all of your money without thinking about the consequences.” ...
  • “It's like you have two completely different personalities.”


What is the best way to deal with someone who has borderline personality disorder?

  • Set clear boundaries. Practising good boundaries and expectations can make a big difference. ...
  • Plan ahead. ...
  • Learn their triggers. ...
  • Provide distractions. ...
  • Learn more about BPD. ...
  • Help them seek treatment and support. ...
  • Take care of yourself.


What triggers a person with borderline personality disorder?

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

What can worsen BPD?

Common BPD Triggers
  • Perceived or real abandonment.
  • Rejection of any kind.
  • Loss of a job.
  • Locations that invoke negative memories.
  • Reminders of traumatic events.
  • Ending a relationship.


What a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Episode Looks Like



Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

How do I calm down my BPD?

You could:
  1. Wrap up in a blanket and watch your favourite TV show.
  2. Write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear it up.
  3. Listen to music that you find uplifting or soothing.
  4. Write a comforting letter to the part of yourself that is feeling sad or alone.
  5. Let yourself cry or sleep.
  6. Cuddle a pet or a soft toy.


What is a BPD favorite person?

A favorite person is the center of attention of an individual living with BPD. This means they consider this person as a trusted friend, confidant, and counselor all wrapped in one. Dr. Roberts notes that the person with BPD demonstrates an “anxious-preoccupied attachment style.”


What are things borderlines do?

The 9 symptoms of BPD
  • Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
  • Unstable relationships. ...
  • Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
  • Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
  • Self-harm. ...
  • Extreme emotional swings. ...
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
  • Explosive anger.


How do you talk to someone with borderline personality disorder?

How to Help
  1. Be patient.
  2. Be realistic.
  3. Try to separate facts from feelings.
  4. Validate feelings first.
  5. Listen actively and be sympathetic.
  6. Seek to distract when emotions rise.
  7. Do not allow yourself to be the product of the intense anger; attempt to diffuse it but sometimes you may have to walk away.


How to live with a family member with borderline personality disorder?

8 Best Tips for How to Cope With a Loved One's Borderline Personality Disorder
  1. Learn About the Illness.
  2. Validate Their Feelings.
  3. Simplify Your Message.
  4. Encourage Responsibility.
  5. Set Boundaries.
  6. Don't Ignore Threats of Suicide or Self-Harm.
  7. Help Your Loved One Find Treatment.
  8. Find Support for Yourself.


How do you make someone with BPD feel special?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


Are borderlines aware of their behavior?

People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.

Are borderline personality toxic?

Many people still believe that those living with it can be manipulative or dangerous due to their symptoms. While this can be the case in a very small minority of people, most people with BPD are just struggling with their sense of self and their relationships. It's important to note that we're not dangerous people.


Are borderlines insecure?

Insecurity: Insecurity is perhaps one of the deepest and most troublesome parts of borderline personality disorder. Unsettling and nagging, the insecurity one feels with borderline dictates their actions, behaviors, thoughts, beliefs, and relation to others.

Can borderlines keep friends?

It can be challenging to make and keep friends if you live with any mental illness. If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), your unpredictable behaviors, tumultuous emotions, and fear of abandonment can drive others away. However, managing your BPD symptoms can help you to stabilize your friendships.

Are borderlines jealous?

In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness. In many cases, this disorder is the direct result of childhood trauma, abuse, violence, or neglect.


What kind of people do borderlines like?

Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.

Do borderlines trust?

According to previous research, patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) show intense reactions to perceived abandonment, a high degree of mistrust, and a distorted, negative perception of others that contribute significantly to interpersonal problems.

Can a borderline be loved?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) isn't a personal choice. It's a mental health condition, and it can be managed. Can a person with borderline personality disorder feel love? Absolutely!


What is the best partner for someone with BPD?

For someone with BPD, the favorite person is deemed the most important person in their life. This person can be anyone, but it's often a romantic partner, family member, good friend, or another supportive person (like a coach, therapist, or teacher).

What is the average length of a BPD relationship?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.

What does borderline rage look like?

Anger that is intense, uncontrolled or inappropriate can be a devastating symptom for someone who has BPD. They may be driven by a desire to be connected to others, yet loss of emotional control frequently drives others away. In some cases, the level of rage experienced can lead to violence.


How do you calm someone with BPD rage?

Listening to your loved one and acknowledging their feelings is one of the best ways to help someone with BPD calm down. When you appreciate how a borderline person hears you and adjust how you communicate with them, you can help diffuse the attacks and rages and build a stronger, closer relationship.

What foods should borderline personality disorder patients avoid?

Consider cutting out all processed food and sugar for a few weeks and observe your energy level and your emotions. Avoid misusing alcohol or caffeine, as these also can intensify mood instability.
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