What should you not say to a grieving family?

  • “How are you doing?”
  • “You'll be okay after a while.”
  • “I understand how you feel.”
  • “You shouldn't feel that way.”
  • “Stop crying.”
  • “At least he's in a better place; his suffering is over.”
  • “At least she lived a long life, many people die young.”
  • “She brought this on herself.”


What to say and what not to say when someone is grieving?

They may need to cry for days on end,” wrote Kathryn Janus. In other words, don't say things like, “Stay strong” or “Be strong.” Indeed, the most helpful thing anyone said to Teresa Brewer in her time of loss was, “Whatever you are feeling, and whenever you are feeling it, it's O.K.”

What you shouldn't say to someone who is grieving?

Judgmental statements

It should go without saying, but there is no world in which judging someone helps them in their grief. Comments like “You should be over it; it's been a year already,” “You look like you need to get more sleep and eat more,” or “I thought you'd be more upset” are never okay.


What not to do during grieving?

5 Things Not to Do When Grieving
  • Do not try to self-medicate your emotional pain away. ...
  • Do not avoid the pain you feel. ...
  • Do not hide yourself away from friends and family. ...
  • Do not focus on regrets, choices you've made, or past actions you've taken. ...
  • Do not make major, life-changing decisions.


What can I say instead of sorry for your loss?

What to say instead of sorry for your loss?
  • “I'm thinking of you during this difficult time”
  • “You are in my thoughts, and I'm here if you need to talk or hold my hand”
  • “I'm sorry you're going through this”
  • “I was saddened to hear of Michael's passing, and my thoughts are with you and your family.”


What to Say to a Grieving Person (And What Not to Say!)



What to say when there are no words?

Whenever I struggle to find the words or don't have an answer, I may say:
  1. “I hear you. ...
  2. “I'm going to take some time to think about how I want to answer that.”
  3. “I don't have an answer, let's look for one together.”
  4. “I hear you saying (then reflect what you heard them say).”


What is a nice sympathy message?

General condolence messages.

My sincerest condolences for you at this time. You have my deepest sympathy and unwavering support. Wishing you peace, comfort, courage, and lots of love at this time of sorrow. My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.

What is the hardest stage of grief?

Depression is usually the longest and most difficult stage of grief. Ironically, what brings us out of our depression is finally allowing ourselves to experience our very deepest sadness. We come to the place where we accept the loss, make some meaning of it for our lives and are able to move on.


What is the best thing to do for someone grieving?

The Do's
  • Check in on them. Make an effort to check in with your friend, even if it is a quick phone call, a card or an invitation to grab a coffee together. ...
  • Understand the grieving process. ...
  • Listen more, talk less. ...
  • Let them cry. ...
  • Ask questions. ...
  • Offer practical help. ...
  • Be willing to sit in silence. ...
  • Remember important dates.


What are 3 things you can do to comfort a grieving person?

Here are some ways you can give support to someone who is grieving:
  1. Be a good listener. ...
  2. Respect the person's way of grieving. ...
  3. Accept mood swings. ...
  4. Avoid giving advice. ...
  5. Refrain from trying to explain the loss. ...
  6. Help out with practical tasks. ...
  7. Stay connected and available. ...
  8. Offer words that touch the heart.


Should you be alone while grieving?

Solitude in grief is both necessary and healing. If you are someone who avoids solitude, however, through constant distraction, busyness, or attachment to others, you may be avoiding your normal, necessary pain.


How do you comfort a grieving family?

Grief - how to support the bereaved
  1. Contact the bereaved person as soon as possible after the death and attend the funeral or memorial service if you can.
  2. Allow the bereaved person to talk and express their grief in whatever way they need.
  3. Concentrate your efforts on listening carefully and with compassion.


What are five ways to support a grieving person?

5 ways to support a grieving friend or relative
  • Talk about it. It is normal to feel scared about making things more difficult or painful. ...
  • Make promises that you can keep. ...
  • Stay in touch. ...
  • Remember that everyone experiences grief differently. ...
  • Give them time.


When should you stop grieving?

But there is no timetable or timeline for grief. It is completely normal to feel profoundly sad for more than a year, and sometimes many years, after a person you love has died. Don't put pressure on yourself to feel better or move on because other people think you should.


What is masked grief?

Masked grief is grief that the person experiencing the grief does not say they have –– or that they mask. This can be common among men, or in society and cultures in which there are rules that dictate how you must act, or appear following the loss of someone close to you.

What grieving people need most?

The most important thing you can do for a grieving person is to simply be there. It's your support and caring presence that will help your loved one cope with the pain and gradually begin to heal.

How often should you check on someone who is grieving?

Your friend or relative may need you even more after the first few weeks and months, when other people may stop calling. Check in every now and then just to say hello (you may find it helpful to put reminders on your calendar). Most bereaved people find it difficult to reach out and need others to take the initiative.


What do people who grieve need?

TIME: You need time alone and time with others whom you trust and who will listen when you need time to talk. You may need months and years to feel and understand the feelings that go along with loss.

Which year of grief is the hardest?

Often the second year is the hardest as that's when the real grief work might begin. This is the time when you may be ready to face your grief head on and deal with any issues that are holding you back. If you're not ready yet though, don't feel guilty. There is no deadline and everyone grieves in their own time.

What is the average length of grief?

It's common for the grief process to take a year or longer. A grieving person must resolve the emotional and life changes that come with the death of a loved one. The pain may become less intense, but it's normal to feel emotionally involved with the deceased for many years.


What makes grieving easier?

The mind and body are connected. When you feel healthy physically, you'll be better able to cope emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. Don't use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially.

What is better to say than rest in peace?

Rest in paradise with eternal love, sweet Grandmother. We will miss you forever. 10. May he rest easy in grace and love and shine down on all of us.

Do you put money in a sympathy card?

Consider Sending Memorial Money

Many people send flowers, but it's also really easy to put money on the card. When you send the money, let the family know you want them to honor their loved one in whatever way they see fit. They might really appreciate the funds because they needed help with the final service expenses.


What is a nicer way to say no?

Saying “No” to an Invitation or Offer

I appreciate the offer, but I can't. I'm honored, but can't. I'd love to, but I can't. I appreciate the invitation, but I am completely booked. Thanks for thinking of me, but I can't.

What are the comfort words?

Words of Comfort for a Friend
  • Know that my prayers are covering you.
  • I am always here for you, no matter what or when.
  • Praying for you to have peace during this difficult time.
  • I know this is hard. I love you.
  • You can cry, talk, go take a nap, or be silent around me. I won't be offended, I just want to support you.