What should you not say to someone who is insecure?

You should avoid invalidating phrases like "You're overreacting," "Calm down," or "At least..." that minimize their feelings, and instead, don't offer false reassurances like "You're great!" which can feel untrue; instead, listen, acknowledge their feelings ("I hear you're feeling down about X"), and ask supportive questions like, "What makes you feel that way?" or "How can I support you?". Avoid toxic phrases that pressure them or compare, and focus on validating their emotions, not necessarily the facts of their negative self-perception.


What not to say to an insecure person?

Are you dealing with a highly insecure person?
  • "I don't have time for this. ...
  • "I've already tried this [or something similar], but it didn't work." ...
  • "This is just another way for management to cut jobs." ...
  • "This is a stupid idea. ...
  • "This might work for others, but it's not for me." ...
  • "Can't we think of something else?


What to say to someone that is insecure?

If this person is insecure, then its important that they know they can count on you. Take them gently by the hand, look into their eyes, and say, ``I love you and I am here for you''. This shows them that you are opening your heart up to them, and little by little, they will feel less anxiety and more confidence.


How to stop someone feeling insecure?

Offer compliments and affirmations. Small acts of kindness and regular check-ins (e.g., asking about their day) can help them feel loved, appreciated, and secure in the relationship. Encourage them to seek professional help if they are struggling to overcome their insecurity.

What not to say to someone with low self-esteem?

Avoid saying things that invalidate their feelings (like "life is good!") or offer unhelpful platitudes ("just be confident," "work harder"), as these dismiss their internal struggle and suggest they aren't trying, making them feel worse; instead, listen, validate their feelings without judgment, offer specific, sincere support, and gently encourage them to find their own solutions. 


3 Signs Someone is Projecting Their Insecurities Into You



What are the 3 C's of self-esteem?

The 3 Cs of self-esteem are Competence, Confidence, and Connection, representing feeling capable (Competence), believing in your abilities (Confidence), and having belonging and meaningful relationships (Connection). These three elements work together, forming a cycle where building skills boosts confidence, leading to stronger relationships, and providing support that further enhances self-esteem. 

What to say to someone lacking confidence?

Encouraging Words for Someone Else Who Has Low Self-Esteem

“I believe in you and am just waiting for you to catch up and see it for yourself.” “Every day, find one positive thing to say about yourself and write it down. Soon you will have a long list of reasons why you are entitled to good self-esteem.”

How do extremely insecure people act?

While feeling insecure is natural, problematic behaviors can develop when people consistently attempt to conceal or compensate for their self-doubt. Insecure types are extremely risk averse and unproductive. Some can be downright nasty or display abusive behaviors.


What to say to make someone feel better about themselves?

What to say to someone who is sad
  • “I'm here for you, no matter what.”
  • “It's okay to feel sad right now.”
  • “You don't have to go through this alone.”
  • “No need to respond if you're not up to it. ...
  • “Take your time to feel how you feel. ...
  • “You are loved, even on your hardest days.”
  • “You're so strong, and I believe in you.”


What is the root cause of insecurity?

The root cause of insecurity often lies in deep-seated fears of not being good enough, stemming from past negative experiences like trauma, harsh criticism, or neglect, leading to low self-esteem, perfectionism, and constant social comparison fueled by unrealistic standards from media and society, creating a persistent feeling of vulnerability and unworthiness. Essentially, it's a lack of feeling safe or secure in oneself, often rooted in childhood wounds or significant setbacks. 

Are insecure people controlling?

Here are some of the most common reasons why people develop controlling behaviors. Insecurity: Deep-seated insecurities are a primary cause. When people feel they are not good enough, they may try to control others to feel more powerful and important.


How to love someone who is insecure?

Here are five ways to deal with an insecure partner.
  1. Identify the Real Problem.
  2. Offer Support.
  3. Spend Quality Time Together.
  4. Create Healthy Boundaries.
  5. Beware of Manipulation.


Why do insecure people talk so much?

People with deep-seated insecurities might talk excessively to assert themselves or prove their knowledge, fearing that silence may make them appear unimportant.

Are insecure people unhappy?

Others may be clingy or continually seek assurance from friends and family. This can be frustrating, but it is also important to remember that these behaviors stem from feeling unworthy and that they often feel unhappy or frustrated themselves.


What to tell someone if they feel insecure?

Sometimes when someone is deep in the fog of insecurity, they forget they are so much more than whatever they're spiraling about. So reminding them of all their awesomeness can help, Dr. Kirmayer says. Real friends don't love you because of how you look, how fancy your job title is, or where you live.

How to deal with someone with low self-esteem?

Dealing with someone with low self-esteem involves consistent support, validation, and building them up by focusing on their strengths, encouraging self-care, setting small achievable goals, and practicing active listening without judgment, while also setting healthy boundaries and avoiding comparisons to others to foster genuine self-worth. Remember you can't "fix" them, but you can create a safe, positive environment for growth. 

How to lift someone up emotionally?

To lift someone emotionally, listen actively without judgment, validate their feelings ("That sounds really hard"), offer practical help, remind them of their strengths, and simply be present and consistent in your support, showing you care and they aren't alone. Avoid minimizing their pain with platitudes like "it could be worse," and instead, focus on empathy and empowering them to navigate their tough time, often through small, meaningful gestures.
 


What are the 5 core emotional needs?

There are five core emotional needs that are necessary for healthy emotional development in children.
  • The Need for Secure Attachment. Secure attachment is vital for the healthy emotional development of children. ...
  • The Need for Autonomy. ...
  • The Need for Boundaries. ...
  • The Need for Freedom to Express. ...
  • The Need for Play.


What words increase self esteem?

Repeating positive and affirming words, such as “I can do this” or “I am worthy”, is enough to boost confidence when you need it the most. Think of how sports teams always get a pep-talk before a big game. Positive words are as powerful as words that have ebbed away your confidence.

Is insecurity a form of narcissism?

Narcissism and severe insecurity are two sides of the same coin, often indistinguishable to the outside world. When you're drowning in self-doubt, your desperate attempts to stay afloat can look like self-absorption to others. While others seem to effortlessly manage life, you're stuck questioning your worth.


What are subtle signs of toxicity?

Signs you're in a toxic situation with someone
  • They gaslight or lie to you. ...
  • They don't apologize properly. ...
  • They don't understand how their behavior makes others feel. ...
  • They think they are superior to others. ...
  • They see themselves as a victim of their own behavior. ...
  • People can't change their toxic personality traits.


Do insecure people lie a lot?

Some people feel very insecure about who they are and might lie in an effort to make themselves feel better or inflate their own sense of self-worth. Pathological lying may also be a defense mechanism to prevent ridicule or social exclusion. Lying under these circumstances is often quite transparent.

What are the 5 C's of confidence?

And that's where The Five Cs of Confident Leadership comes in -- Communication, Clarity, Connection, Community and Courage.


What to tell a friend with low self-esteem?

What do you say to someone with very low self-esteem?
  • Tell them you love them and why. A person struggling with low self-esteem usually finds it difficult to love themselves very much, so they're likely to benefit when hearing it from others. ...
  • Encourage self-care. ...
  • Share positive things with them. ...
  • Be caring but firm.


What are the four P's of confidence?

There are 4 main factors which impact our level of self- confidence know as the 4 P's: Perspiration- our attitude toward fear and anxiety, Peers- comparisons to others, Parents- the support we were given by our families, Performance- academic or career.