What to do if you can't make it to someone's funeral?

How to Acknowledge a Funeral When You Can't Attend
  1. It's never too late to send flowers. Sending flowers is a traditional and beautiful way to express your sympathies to the family of the deceased. ...
  2. Sign the online guestbook. ...
  3. Pay a visit to the family's home. ...
  4. Offer up kind words in a card. ...
  5. Make a charitable contribution.


Is it disrespectful to not go to someone's funeral?

Choosing whether to attend is at the discretion of each individual, family member. Whatever you choose, know that it isn't disrespectful to not go to a funeral for personal reasons.

How do you apologize for not attending a funeral?

Please accept my sincerest apologies for not being able to attend the funeral. My heart aches knowing that I can't be there to support you all during this difficult time. Please accept my sincerest apologies for not being able to attend the funeral. I really wanted to be there but I just couldn't get away from work.


Is it OK to skip a funeral?

Apology for Missing a Funeral

So don't give an excuse or reason why you can't make it to the funeral. Instead, simply give your condolences for their loss, tell them that you regret that you can't (or couldn't) make it to the funeral, and express your love, sympathy, and support.

Should I feel obligated to go to a funeral?

Etiquette experts say your decision to attend should primarily depend on your relationship and level of closeness with the deceased and/or their family members. But the general rule of thumb is if you can make it, you should be there—especially if you have a deep respect for the departed.


5 Things You Can Do if You Can't Attend a Funeral



When should you not attend a funeral?

Here's when it may be okay to skip the funeral service:
  • If your presence will upset the close family of the deceased.
  • If you're not close to the deceased or their family.
  • If the event is not open to the public.
  • If you're unable to take off work or get bereavement leave.


Is it disrespectful to not go to a parents funeral?

There's nothing wrong with not attending a parent's funeral if there isn't a pressing need or motivation to be there. There are many reasons why a person may feel the need to skip out on the funeral or memorial service.

What's the hardest part of a funeral?

Attending a visitation can be the hardest part for people to attend, because it involves talking to the deceased's family. A good recommendation is to say something simple such as “I am sorry about your loss”, especially if there are many other guests waiting to share their condolences.


Why do they cover mirrors when someone dies?

In parts of Germany and in Belgium, it was long customary to cover mirrors with a white cloth because it was thought that if a person saw his or her image in a mirror after a death in the household, that person would die shortly.

What to say at a funeral when you don't know what to say?

When attending a visitation, here are examples of what you can say to the family:
  • My condolences.
  • I'm really sorry you're going through this.
  • Your mom was a wonderful woman.
  • You loved him/her well.
  • I'm thinking of your family during this difficult time.


What should you not say to the family at a funeral?

Here are seven things to avoid saying at a funeral or to someone grieving the loss of a loved one.
  • “They're an angel now.”
  • “I know how you feel.”
  • “They look so good.”
  • “Don't cry” or “Go ahead and cry.”
  • “At least it wasn't worse.”
  • “God is sovereign.”
  • “Let me know if I can help.”
  • What can you say instead?


How do you tell someone you won't be able to attend a funeral?

What to Text Someone When You Can't Attend a Funeral
  1. Thinking of you today! I'm sorry I can't be there with you. ...
  2. I'm sending a virtual hug to you. I know that today is going to be hard. ...
  3. Please know that I would be there with you today if circumstances were different.


Is White disrespectful at a funeral?

As a neutral color, white should not be considered inappropriate at most North American funerals. Though you should ask the family hosting the service when in doubt, plain, neutral colors are generally acceptable for memorials. Wearing white in conjunction with other dark tones is absolutely appropriate.

Why do families fight at funerals?

Those left behind are grieving and emotional. At the same time they must deal with having to make final arrangement for their loved one. This can often involve making difficult decisions. All this can cause tensions to come to a head which leads to arguments and disagreements.


When someone dies what do they see?

One of the most common and well-known near-death experiences for those who die and come back is seeing a bright, white light. This white light isn't something to be afraid of.

Why do you open the window when someone dies?

When the window is ajar. Opening the window after someone dies is a tradition that hasn't died out. All over the world many nurses and families abide by this practice. It is said the souls of ancestors gather at the time of death of a family member and, regardless, this aids the soul transitioning to the next world.

Why do they cover the legs in a casket?

It is a common practice to cover the legs as there is swelling in the feet and shoes don't fit. As part of funeral care, the body is dressed and preserved, with the prime focus on the face. Post embalming, bodies are often placed without shoes; hence covering the legs is the way to offer a dignified funeral.


Do bugs get in caskets?

Once buried, most caskets cannot keep bugs out indefinitely due to the natural decomposition process. However, some measures – such as the use of burial vaults and airtight seals – can keep bugs out for hundreds or even thousands of years.

Is it rude to cry at a funeral?

It's Okay to Cry: How to Embrace Crying and Your Feelings. Finally, remind yourself that crying at a funeral is a natural part of the grieving process. You're allowed to show your emotions, even if it feels awkward at first. In fact, some cultures include crying as part of the wake etiquette.

What colors are OK to wear to a funeral?

Wearing dark grey or deep blue is just as appropriate as black, while brown and lighter greys are suitable for the vast majority of funeral services. However, unless specifically requested by the deceased or their family, you should avoid any bright colors such as yellows, oranges, pinks, and reds.


Can I stop family from coming to my funeral?

To make sure the funeral is a time to grieve and not the start of a major fight, some families choose to place restrictions on who can and cannot attend the service. Unless you specify otherwise, it is implied that anyone is welcome to attend the funeral.

Why can't you wear red to a funeral?

In western cultures, red is often seen as a color of joy, love, and vitality. It's the color of celebrations and positive energy. Wearing red to a funeral would be considered inappropriate because it would clash with the somber atmosphere and be viewed as disrespectful.

Can I wear jeans to a funeral?

Can you wear jeans to a funeral? Bottom line: jeans are not appropriate for a funeral. Unless the family requests them, you should avoid wearing denim to a funeral. However, if it's a casual, outdoor service, you can consider a dark (almost black denim) paired with a button-down shirt and blazer.


What is the color of grief?

Black is considered the mourning color, although historically it was white. Widows may wear purple when mourning the death of their spouse.

How long can a body stay in a funeral home?

When properly stored and cooled, a body can be kept for up to six weeks at the funeral home, so you'll have plenty of flexibility when planning your memorial service. Cremation has become an increasingly popular option for people around the country. In fact, more bodies are now cremated than buried.