What to say to a girl with BPD?

Here are a few basic pointers for communicating with someone with borderline personality disorder in a healthy and productive way:
  • Be patient.
  • Be realistic.
  • Try to separate facts from feelings.
  • Validate feelings first.
  • Listen actively and be sympathetic.
  • Seek to distract when emotions rise.


How do you make a girl with BPD feel loved?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


What do you say to someone with BPD?

Tell them that you really want to understand, and ask if they can say more about what they are feeling and why. Give the person hope for recovery by reassuring them that people with BPD can and do get better. Accept that the person is struggling and that life goals might need to be broken down into smaller steps.


How do you comfort someone with BPD?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.


How do you text someone with BPD?

Here's what they had to say:
  1. “You matter to me.” ...
  2. “People need you. ...
  3. “You are stronger than you think. ...
  4. “My world would be nothing without you.” ...
  5. “I love you and want you in my life.” ...
  6. “Even if it seems small to others, I can understand it's big for you. ...
  7. “You being around is good for me and not hurting me.”


What a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Episode Looks Like



Do people with BPD text a lot?

BPD sufferers often text too much, communicate in a way that is not constructive, and may even use manipulative tactics to get their needs met. However, there are ways to overcome these challenges and improve communication for both parties.

Is it easy to date someone with BPD?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.

Who attracts BPD?

Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.


How do you keep a borderline happy?

The following 9 strategies can help you support a person with BPD:
  1. Learn about BPD. ...
  2. Show confidence and respect. ...
  3. Be trustworthy. ...
  4. Manage conflict with attachment. ...
  5. Encourage Professional Help. ...
  6. Identify strengths. ...
  7. Have fun together. ...
  8. Take suicide seriously.


What do you say to a quiet BPD person?

Helping Someone Cope With Quiet BPD
  • Listen and be sympathetic. ...
  • Ask questions. ...
  • Validate their feelings. ...
  • Help them practice self-soothing strategies. ...
  • Set healthy boundaries. ...
  • Consider making a family therapy appointment. ...
  • Encourage them to use mindfulness techniques. ...
  • Celebrate smaller wins.


What someone with BPD needs in a relationship?

Offer emotional support.

Someone with BPD may feel very isolated because of their past. Offer your partner understanding and patience. It is possible for them to learn and have better behaviors.


What is it like to date someone with BPD?

People with BPD may move quickly from feelings of idealization to devaluation regarding their partner and are more likely to terminate relationships than people without BPD. If you are dating someone with BPD, you may find it easy to blame yourself for your partner's erratic actions and symptoms.

Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

Do people with BPD love hard?

But there is another quality displayed by many borderline individuals that is often left out of the diagnostic picture: individuals with borderline personality disorders can also love intensely, although somewhat erratically and egocentrically.


How do people with BPD show affection?

Affection – People with BPD are either extremely affectionate or withdrawn, which may be confusing for those who don't have the disorder. Abandonment – Lots of people are scared that their partner isn't happy; but when you have BPD, you may be in constant worry that they will leave.

Can BPD cause you to cheat?

Borderline personality disorder relationships and cheating may occur due to the impulsivity associated with this mental health condition. Recent research has shown people with BPD are more sexually impulsive and likely to engage in risky sexual behavior than those without BPD.

How can I help my girlfriend with BPD?

To help someone with BPD, first take care of yourself
  1. Avoid the temptation to isolate. ...
  2. You're allowed (and encouraged) to have a life! ...
  3. Join a support group for BPD family members. ...
  4. Don't neglect your physical health. ...
  5. Learn to manage stress. ...
  6. Listen actively and be sympathetic. ...
  7. Focus on the emotions, not the words.


How long do BPD relationships last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.

How do you stop a BPD episode?

If you suffer from borderline personality disorder, here are some ways to help cope with the symptoms that can lead to or trigger an episode:
  1. Take a warm shower or bath.
  2. Play music that relaxes you.
  3. Engage in a physical activity.
  4. Do brain teasers or problem-solving activities.
  5. Talk to a sympathetic loved one.


What is a BPD favorite person?

A favorite person is the center of attention of an individual living with BPD. This means they consider this person as a trusted friend, confidant, and counselor all wrapped in one. Dr. Roberts notes that the person with BPD demonstrates an “anxious-preoccupied attachment style.”


How can you tell if someone with BPD loves you?

How do you know if a person with BPD loves you?
  • Consistent need for reassurance.
  • Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you.
  • Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
  • Fear that you will leave them or no longer love them.


How can you tell if a woman is borderline?

There are a handful of medically recognized symptoms of borderline personality disorder.
  • Instability in Relationships. ...
  • Extreme Emotional Swings. ...
  • Explosive Feelings of Anger. ...
  • Self-Harm. ...
  • Lingering Feelings of Emptiness or Worthlessness. ...
  • Feeling Out of Touch With Reality.


What is BPD splitting?

Splitting is a psychological mechanism which allows the person to tolerate difficult and overwhelming emotions by seeing someone as either good or bad, idealised or devalued. This makes it easier to manage the emotions that they are feeling, which on the surface seem to be contradictory.


Should you marry someone with BPD?

“Clinicians should know that people with BPD can successfully marry or live with a partner in a stable relationship and become parents.

How does a borderline react to no contact?

Along with high emotions - the borderline partner's fear of abandonment may be triggered and they may try harder to hold onto the relationship - or possibly they won't be able to cope and will seek retribution.