Why do people hurt the ones they love?

When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel 'safe'.


Can someone hurt you if they love you?

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.

Is it true we hurt the ones we love the most?

The truth is, we tend to be more hostile to those we love most, even when they don't deserve it. Research has shown that romantic partners, best friends and family members are the most common targets of our “everyday aggression,” such as yelling, heated confrontations and hurtful gossip.


Why does the person you love hurt us the most?

We hurt the one we love for several reasons: 1) Unconscious re-creation of emotional trauma – we all experience various degrees of emotional hurt and trauma growing up. Unfortunately, we form part of our identities around whatever we experience, be it love, distance, drama, or verbal or physical abuse.

What to do when you are extremely hurt by someone you love?

5 Pointers to Recover From Being Hurt by Someone You Love
  1. Focus on loving yourself more than hating them. ...
  2. Remember that people can actually become better. ...
  3. Don't close yourself off. ...
  4. Don't let them control your happiness. ...
  5. Learn from it.


7 Reasons We Hurt the Ones We Love



How do you make someone realize they hurt you?

5 Steps for Telling Someone They Hurt or Disrespected You
  1. Start with why what you want to say is important. ...
  2. Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. ...
  3. Say how their behavior made you feel—the impact. ...
  4. Ask for what you need going forward. ...
  5. End by reinforcing why you are making this request.


What is it called when someone purposely hurts you?

If someone displays a pattern of this kind of behavior, intentionally doing things to hurt you, this is abuse.

How do you know if your heart is broken emotionally?

If your heart is broken, you might feel symptoms common to depression:
  1. Fatigue.
  2. Reduced or increased appetite.
  3. Sleeping too little or too much.
  4. Lack of interest in your usual activities.
  5. Anxiety.


Why do people hurt good people?

For most of us, hurting others causes us to feel their pain. And we don't like this feeling. This suggests two reasons people may harm the harmless – either they don't feel the others' pain or they enjoy feeling the others' pain. Another reason people harm the harmless is because they nonetheless see a threat.

Why do we go back to people who hurt us?

The mind tries to focus on the painful memories, but the heart will hold on to the beautiful ones. Those are the ones that will haunt you. There is comfort in familiarity, so sometimes we cling tighter to the good memories than we do to the bad. This is why we keep running back to the people who have hurt us.

Why do we push away the ones we love?

Fear of intimacy

Pushing people away is one way of avoiding intimacy. In fact, this avoidance can act as a defense mechanism for people afraid of getting hurt in relationships. This could be because a past relationship ended badly, perhaps with rejection or even bereavement.


Can you ever stop loving someone who hurt you?

You may always carry those feelings with you in some form. Love doesn't always go away just because we want it to. But even if you can't entirely stop loving someone who doesn't love you or who's caused you harm, you can manage those feelings in positive, healthy ways so they don't continue to cause you pain.

Does true love end?

Does true love exist? Yes, science shows true love is not only possible but can last the duration of one's life. “Love is a symbol of infinity” and “Love is the bridge to everything” are popular romantic love time quotes that emphasize love that never dies.

What do you say to someone who hurts you deeply?

If you're hoping to salvage the relationship with the person who has hurt you, then here are some great conversation points to add in:
  • “I care about you.”
  • “I respect you.”
  • “I want to fix our relationship.”
  • “I want to move past this.”
  • “I want to understand each other better.”
  • “I want to be open with you.”


What do you do when someone hurts you and doesn't care?

If the person knows we are being hurt and doesn't care, the best is to forgive (to not feel pressured or guilty if we do care about this person), but also to keep distance in order to avoid future problems. Also, we must make sure we are communicating our concern in a clear and honest way.

Do people hurt others on purpose?

They may be driven by a desire to hurt you in the same way they have been hurt, to bring you down and cause you pain in the same ways they have experienced it. If you are with someone who is driven to cause hurt because of self-dislike—and you want to stay with them—they must get help for their own issues.

Why do people hurt genuine people?

For most of us, hurting others causes us to feel their pain. And we don't like this feeling. This suggests two reasons people may harm the harmless – either they don't feel the others' pain or they enjoy feeling the others' pain. Another reason people harm the harmless is because they nonetheless see a threat.


Why do people get mean when they are hurt?

People change their feelings of pain into anger because it feels better to be angry than it does to be in pain. This changing of pain into anger may be done consciously or unconsciously. Being angry rather than simply in pain has a number of advantages, primarily among them distraction.

What does a true broken heart feel like?

Some people describe it as a dull ache, others as piercing, while still others experience it as a crushing sensation. The pain can last for a few seconds and then subside, or it can be chronic, hanging over your days and depleting you like just like the pain, say, of a back injury or a migraine.

How do you know a guy is heartbroken?

If he avoids seeing you at all costs even though it is important, it is one of the signs he is heartbroken over you. He knows that when he sees you, the memories will come flooding, and it might be too much for him to handle. Also, he would ensure avoiding places where you are likely to show up.


How long does a broken heart usually last?

When looking at the timeline of breakups, many sites refer to a “study” that's actually a consumer poll a market research company conducted on behalf of Yelp. The poll's results suggest it takes an average of about 3.5 months to heal, while recovering after divorce might take closer to 1.5 years, if not longer.

Is intentionally hurting someone abuse?

The domestic violence laws say “abuse” is: Physically hurting or trying to hurt someone intentionally or recklessly; Sexual assault; Making someone reasonably afraid that he or she or someone else is about to be seriously hurt (like threats or promises to harm someone); OR.

Can you hurt someone you love intentionally?

Yes, you can intentionally hurt someone you love. If you've hurt someone you love intentionally, the motive often comes from differing perspectives or the desire to exert one's independence. When we've hurt someone we love, it's important to apologize to the person you've hurt regardless of intentions.


How do you help someone who hurts you deeply?

Use active listening skills. Encourage them to talk by saying, “I want to hear what you have to say.” Reflect and validate your loved one's emotions by saying, “I can understand why you would feel hurt.” Ask clarifying questions to make sure that you truly understand: “You're saying that you felt angry.

How do you ignore someone who hurt you?

Walk away if the other person is being intentionally hurtful.
  1. If you feel comfortable doing so, calmly say something like, “Stop doing that,” or “The way you're acting is out of line. I'm leaving.”
  2. If you can't just walk away, use your actions to show the other person you're not willing to interact.