Why do we hurt the people we love the most?

When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel 'safe'.


Why do I keep hurting people I love?

You may hurt the one you love the most simply because they are the ones that are mostly around. Our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are in constant interplay. If we have a negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state or get triggered by innocuous and harmless stimuli.

Why does the person you love hurt us the most?

We hurt the one we love for several reasons: 1) Unconscious re-creation of emotional trauma – we all experience various degrees of emotional hurt and trauma growing up. Unfortunately, we form part of our identities around whatever we experience, be it love, distance, drama, or verbal or physical abuse.


What to do when you hurt the person you love the most?

How To Cope With Guilt When You Hurt Someone In A Relationship
  1. Sincerely Apologize.
  2. Recognize That You Can't Change What Has Already Happened.
  3. Remember That Actions Speak Louder Than Words.
  4. Work on Improving Yourself.
  5. Don't Focus Entirely on the Negative.
  6. Consider Couples Therapy.
  7. Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)


Why cant I stop hurting the person I love?

When we hurt someone for no reason, it's because we fear rejection or disconnection from that person. We hope that, by lashing out, they'll show us more love, attention or understanding. As a result, we'll feel 'safer' in the relationship. So, we behave badly because we want to feel 'safe'.


7 Reasons We Hurt the Ones We Love



Can you hurt someone you truly love?

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.

Can a person love you and still hurt you?

How can one both love and hurt the same person? Lovers can easily hurt the beloved without intending to do so. Because the lovers are so significant to each other, any innocent remark or action can be interpreted in a manner that the other person did not intend and hence be hurtful.

How do you make someone realize they hurt you?

5 Steps for Telling Someone They Hurt or Disrespected You
  1. Start with why what you want to say is important. ...
  2. Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. ...
  3. Say how their behavior made you feel—the impact. ...
  4. Ask for what you need going forward. ...
  5. End by reinforcing why you are making this request.


Why am I attached to someone who hurt me?

Trauma Bonding is when we are attracted to someone because they remind us of our past traumas. A good example of this would be if you have an ex who broke your heart, you might be attracted to people who remind you of that person.

How do you forgive yourself for hurting someone you love?

How to Actually Forgive Yourself
  1. Remember that it's okay to feel guilty.
  2. But, understand the difference between guilt and shame.
  3. Admit you messed up.
  4. Apologize to anyone you may have hurt.
  5. Write yourself an apology.
  6. Take care of yourself, mentally and physically.
  7. Be patient.
  8. Don't try to change other people.


Why do I have thoughts of hurting someone I love?

Harm OCD is a subset of classic obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). The condition is characterized by having aggressive, intrusive thoughts of doing violence to someone, as well as the responses the person uses to cope with these thoughts. OCD makes the individual feel that they can't trust their own mind.


Why am I still emotionally attached to someone?

Emotional attachment is a normal part of development. You are driven to connect to those that provide a sense of protection, comfort, and validation. Attachment can become toxic if you rely too much on others to satisfy emotional needs.

Am I in love or just attached?

Difference between love and attachment

Love evokes fond feelings and actions toward the other person, particularly. Attachment is driven by how you feel about yourself with the degree of permanence and safety someone gives you, based on your past relationships.

Can you be too emotionally attached to someone?

Everyone feels some sort of attachment to people, things, or places. After all, if you have something good in your life, it makes sense that you might feel resistant to losing that person or thing. However, excessive emotional attachment is unhealthy when it begins to disrupt your life.


Is it worth telling someone they hurt you?

If someone treats you poorly and you just let it go, you've taught them that it's okay to treat you this way. But make no mistake: it is okay to feel hurt and it is okay to tell someone they hurt you.

How to make her feel guilty for hurting you?

Emphasize your hurt feelings.

Open up about how much her actions hurt you and try to let her feel your emotions. Take care not to let yourself get angry or aggressive. Speak slowly and deliberately. If you find yourself starting to cry, take a moment to gather yourself.

How do you make him regret ignoring you?

15 tips to make him regret ignoring you
  1. Express your feelings (to him) One of the most direct ways to learn how to make him regret ignoring you is by being upfront about it. ...
  2. Get your story straight. ...
  3. Be less available. ...
  4. Spend time with friends (especially mutual friends) ...
  5. Block him. ...
  6. Pursue other options. ...
  7. Conclusion.


How do you know if your heart is broken emotionally?

If your heart is broken, you might feel symptoms common to depression:
  1. Fatigue.
  2. Reduced or increased appetite.
  3. Sleeping too little or too much.
  4. Lack of interest in your usual activities.
  5. Anxiety.


Does true love end?

Does true love exist? Yes, science shows true love is not only possible but can last the duration of one's life. “Love is a symbol of infinity” and “Love is the bridge to everything” are popular romantic love time quotes that emphasize love that never dies.

Can someone love you and still cheat?

It is absolutely possible that your partner does love you, did love you before, and will continue to love you in the future. Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them.


Is true love supposed to hurt?

Turns out yes, it's normal for love to hurt. And you don't have to be in an abusive relationship for this to happen. In fact, even good relationships can bring some aching discomfort at times. Caring deeply about someone else is enough to transform emotional pain into physical pain — the science says so.

How do you stop loving someone you can't have?

These tips can help you start the process of moving forward.
  1. Acknowledge the truth of the situation. ...
  2. Identify relationship needs — and deal breakers. ...
  3. Accept what the love meant to you. ...
  4. Look to the future. ...
  5. Prioritize other relationships. ...
  6. Spend time on yourself. ...
  7. Give yourself space. ...
  8. Understand it may take some time.


What hurts a woman in a relationship?

It hurts a wife when the husband would rather confide in another woman and praise another woman. 7. It hurts a wife when she tries her best to be a good wife, cook for him, serve him, stay sexy for him, stay faithful to him; but he just doesn't notice her effort. 8.


How do you know if you truly love?

When you're in love with someone, you'll start to develop strong compassion for them. The powerful urge to be connected to this person brings new aspects to your relationship, such as emotional or physical intimacy, passion, and a desire to know everything about them, and be known by them in return.

How do you know if love is real?

7 Ways To Tell If The Love You And Your Partner Have Is Actually Real
  1. You Would Never Intentionally Hurt Them. ...
  2. You Naturally Want What's Best For Them. ...
  3. You Don't Worry About Failing Around Them. ...
  4. You Implicitly Trust Them. ...
  5. You Don't Constantly Worry About Them Leaving. ...
  6. You Have More Patience Than You've Ever Had.
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