Why is it hard to date someone with BPD?

How does BPD affect romantic relationships? Some of the more common symptoms of BPD — like self-worth issues, intimacy and trust difficulties, mood swings, and more — can be understandably damaging to a romantic relationship.


Why is it so hard to be in a relationship with BPD?

Relationship difficulties

People with BPD often have patterns of intense or unstable relationships. This may involve a shift from extreme adoration to extreme dislike, known as a shift from idealization to devaluation. Relationships may be marked by attempts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

How does it feel to date someone with BPD?

A romantic relationship with someone with BPD can be, in a word, stormy. It's not uncommon to experience a great deal of turmoil and dysfunction. However, people with BPD can be exceptionally caring, compassionate, and affectionate. In fact, some people find this level of devotion from a partner pleasant.


How does BPD affect dating?

People with BPD may move quickly from feelings of idealization to devaluation regarding their partner and are more likely to terminate relationships than people without BPD. If you are dating someone with BPD, you may find it easy to blame yourself for your partner's erratic actions and symptoms.

Is it possible to have a relationship with someone with BPD?

The key to maintaining a relationship with someone with BPD is to find ways to cope with these cycles and to encourage your partner to get professional help to cope with the disruptive symptoms and reduce problematic thinking.


Borderline Personality Disorder: Tips for Dating Someone Who Has BPD



Who are borderlines attracted to?

Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.

Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

Do people with BPD fall in love easily?

People affected by BPD often have highly unstable intimate relationships. Usually of above average intelligence, they tend to fall in love easily, sometimes without getting to know the person.


How long do BPD relationships last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.

Are BPD relationships toxic?

Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.

Is it difficult to love someone with BPD?

Loving someone with borderline personality disorder isn't easy. Watching your loved one struggle with deep inner turmoil, negotiating a fluctuating sense of identity, and experiencing such profound rawness of emotion can be painful. Often, even everyday interactions can be laden with potential hazards.


Can BPD cause you to cheat?

Borderline personality disorder relationships and cheating may occur due to the impulsivity associated with this mental health condition. Recent research has shown people with BPD are more sexually impulsive and likely to engage in risky sexual behavior than those without BPD.

How to deal with a girlfriend with BPD?

Finding Relief if You're Facing Relationship Problems Due to Borderline Personality Disorder
  1. Seek out information. ...
  2. Get help. ...
  3. Practice healthy communication. ...
  4. Ask open-ended questions. ...
  5. Talk only when your partner is calm. ...
  6. Offer support. ...
  7. Avoid labeling or blaming. ...
  8. Take threats seriously.


Should you date someone with BPD?

If you do decide to date (or continue dating) someone who has borderline personality disorder, keep in mind that if they're not in remission, their behaviors can create an unhealthy environment for not only you but also your children.


How does someone with BPD deal with a breakup?

People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.

How does BPD affect romantic relationships?

Being in a romantic relationship with someone with BPD can be difficult because of how their mental health affects how they perceive and act in relationships. People with BPD may struggle with fears of abandonment, ineffective ways of getting their needs met, and seeing things as black-and-white.

Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.


Do borderlines get jealous?

These individuals often report feeling that emotions control their lives or even that they feel things more intensely than other people. In close relationships, a person with BPD may appear jealous, possessive, or hyper-reactive. These individuals often fear being left alone and have deep feelings of worthlessness.

Are borderlines loyal?

We're loyal partners and friends

Though there's often an assumption that we have unstable relationships – and in fact this is listed as one of the main symptoms of BPD – we are extremely loyal. As mentioned above, we tend to put ourselves last. Relationships are truly important to us, and our loyalty is strong.

Do borderlines choose their favorite person?

MD. People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) often rotate between idolizing and devaluing others. In the case of the “favorite person,” the individual with BPD prefers one person and wants to spend all their time with them.


How long does BPD rage last?

Intense and sometimes inappropriate rage is a characteristic of borderline personality disorder (BPD). A person with this condition has difficulty regulating their emotions or returning to their baseline. Extremes of rage and other intense emotions may last longer than might be expected, from a few hours to a few days.

Does BPD count as a disability?

The Social Security Administration placed borderline personality disorder as one of the mental health disorders on its disabilities list. However, you'll have to meet specific criteria for an official disability finding. For example, you must prove that you have the symptoms of the condition.

Do borderlines ever forgive?

These results suggest that patients with BPD report becoming more accepting and forgiving over time. Additionally, recovery status is significantly associated with increasing time in these states.


Do narcissists love borderlines?

Narcissists and Borderlines Form Intense, Quick Attachments

Narcissists and Borderline individuals also have something else in common that makes them likely to choose each other: they both can quickly form intense romantic attachments based on very little information about the other person.

Are people with BPD more attractive?

Those with borderline personality disorder have problems regulating emotional impulses and often experience rocky relationships. But new research suggests that many men find traits associated with borderline personality disorder to be appealing in physically attractive women.