Can pallbearers sit with family?

Opinions differ on whether family members should be asked to be pallbearers. Some people consider it a no-no, while others are fine with including family members. It's possible that immediate family members of the deceased, like siblings or children, may be grieving too deeply to be tasked with this job.

What is the etiquette for pallbearers?

Traditional pallbearers dress in modest and dark clothing. Men wear suits with ties and women wear dresses or pants suits. Women should avoid heels and wear comfortable dress shoes to avoid injury. Pallbearers will try to wear typical funeral attire, keeping the focus on the casket and the deceased.

Where do the pallbearers sit?

Pallbearers typically sit together in one of the first rows on the right. At some funerals, pallbearers sit with their family or friends in the congregation. If this is the case, just make sure that you speak with the funeral director so you understand when you are required to leave your seat to help move the casket.

Can family carry the coffin?

Both men and women can be pallbearers, and many people often choose either family members or close friends of the deceased to carry the coffin. Traditionally, there are four to six pallbearers at a funeral, depending on the weight of the coffin.

Should a son be a pallbearer for his father?

Whether it is a father, mother, son, daughter, uncle, aunt, cousin, husband, wife, or best friend, it is crucial that a pallbearer is emotionally, mentally and physically capable of carrying out the task. If any person is unfit mentally, emotionally or physically, they can serve as an honorary pallbearer.

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Who should not be a pallbearer?

Opinions differ on whether family members should be asked to be pallbearers. Some people consider it a no-no, while others are fine with including family members. It's possible that immediate family members of the deceased, like siblings or children, may be grieving too deeply to be tasked with this job.

Do you give pallbearers money?

Because these are volunteers who are close to the family or the deceased, it's not typical to tip. If you need to hire pallbearers, however, a small tip might be appropriate. If the hired pallbearers are not a part of the funeral staff, tipping anywhere from $5-15 is fair for this service.

How much weight does a pallbearer carry?

Pallbearers will have to carry the casket with the body inside, so they will have to transport the body's weight and the coffin. 370 to 400 pounds is the final weight that pallbearers will carry if the casket is standard sized, 200 pounds heavy, whereas the adult body is 200 pounds (male) or 170 pounds (female).

Why do pallbearers leave their gloves on the casket?

As early as the 1700s, gloves were given to pallbearers by the deceased's family to handle the casket. They were a symbol of purity, and considered a symbol of respect and honor.

Who walks in first at a funeral?

Unless they have chosen to be seated beforehand, the family comes next, chief mourner(s) first, walking with whomever he or she chooses. Close friends may follow, completing the procession. The family and pallbearers occupy the front rows, with friends filling vacant places on either side.

Who sits with family at a funeral?

At most funerals the first 1-3 rows will be reserved for family members. Who sits with the family at a funeral? Proper funeral etiquette dictates that the closer you are to the deceased, the closer you will be to the casket. Spouse, parents, and children of the deceased will sit closest to the front.

What family members are usually pallbearers?

In most funerals, there are some common choices while selecting pallbearers. Siblings, adult children, grown-up grandchildren or close friends, colleagues or nephews and nieces are frequently selected as pallbearers. There is no written rule as to who can handle this task.

What color do pallbearers wear?

Usually you'll wear a suit in a black or dark colour. However, less traditional funeral clothing is becoming more popular. So it's best to ask the family or funeral director what the pallbearer dress code is. You'll also want to wear sturdy, comfortable shoes in case you're walking across uneven ground.

Do you thank pallbearers?

Although it is customary for pallbearers to send thank you notes to the surviving members of the family, those planning the funeral should also consider writing a message to honor the service of these individuals.

Is there a dress code for pallbearers?

Pallbearers need to dress appropriately. Unless the bereaved specify otherwise, men should wear dark, solid suits with white shirts and conservative ties, and women should wear dark pantsuits or dresses. You really don't want to trip when carrying the casket.

How many pallbearers is normal?

The traditional format regarding the number of pallbearers is 6, primarily due to the length of the standard casket, so that 3 people on either side can conveniently carry the casket. Most caskets have additional handles at each end which will accommodate 2 more bearers.

Why do they lock caskets?

It's an attempt to care for it even after death. Caskets, be they of metal or wood, are sealed so that they protect the body. The sealing will keep the elements, air, and moisture from getting inside the coffin.

Do pallbearers have to match?

Although pallbearers play a vital role, they should not attract undue attention. Their funeral attire is typically a dark suit or dress that matches or blends in with what the other pallbearers are wearing. Pallbearers are also advised to wear dark shoes that are both comfortable and sturdy.

Is casket heavy for pallbearers?

Is Carrying a Coffin Heavy for Pallbearers? Yes, carrying a coffin can be burdensome for pallbearers. The body, casket, and hardware may weigh 400 pounds. If that weight is divided evenly among six pallbearers, each one is responsible for about 66 pounds.

What is the heaviest part of a coffin to carry?

Usually the head end of the coffin is the heaviest, thus the strongest two of your six pallbearers should take the handles at this end.

How strong do I have to be to be a pallbearer?

Or, you may have been selected because of your physical strength. Being a pallbearer requires that you help carry a heavy coffin at waist height with the help of five to seven other pallbearers. The weight of both the decedent and the casket varies but expect to help bear 300 pounds of weight or more.

Why is a coffin carried feet first?

Coffins are carried feet first simply because of health and safety, rather than any kind of ceremonial tradition.

What happens if you don't have enough pallbearers?

In these instances, you can work with your local funeral home to assign extra employees to help perform this service. You might also work with a local church to find senior church leaders or even youth who would be able to help.

Do you tip a funeral home?

The short answer is: No, you do not tip the funeral director. Their fees are included in the overall funeral costs. After all, they receive a salary from the funeral home and don't rely on tips. If your funeral director did a good job, you can send a thank you note or rate them favorably online.

How do you turn down a pallbearer?

If you have been asked to be a pallbearer but do not feel comfortable performing this role, it is perfectly acceptable to decline. There is no shame in admitting that carrying a casket is not something you feel comfortable doing. If you decline, simply thank the family for asking and express your condolences.