How to tell someone they have borderline personality disorder?

Approach them very gently when they are in a stable mood. Don't specifically mention BPD if you can help it—just tell them their behavior is worrisome to you because you love them and want them to be happy. Offer your support every step of the way.


What to do if you suspect someone has borderline personality disorder?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.


Are borderlines aware of their behavior?

People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.


How to convince someone with borderline personality disorder to get help?

Strategies
  1. Make clear the kinds of behavior you will not tolerate, focusing on yourself. ...
  2. Bring the entire family into the discussion about setting boundaries with your loved one. ...
  3. Do not tolerate verbal abuse or physical violence. ...
  4. Join support groups and seek out resources for loved ones of people with BPD.


How do you make someone with borderline personality disorder feel loved?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


Myth #6 - It is better not to tell someone they have BPD.



Why is it hard to date someone with BPD?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.

How do you communicate with someone with BPD?

How to Help
  1. Be patient.
  2. Be realistic.
  3. Try to separate facts from feelings.
  4. Validate feelings first.
  5. Listen actively and be sympathetic.
  6. Seek to distract when emotions rise.
  7. Do not allow yourself to be the product of the intense anger; attempt to diffuse it but sometimes you may have to walk away.


What not to say to someone with borderline personality disorder?

  • “You're so emotionally unstable.” ...
  • “You don't need to get so angry all the time.” ...
  • “You're so stupid, you spend all of your money without thinking about the consequences.” ...
  • “What caused that disorder?” ...
  • “I can't cope with you and your mood swings!”


What to say to someone who thinks they have BPD?

Tell them that you really want to understand, and ask if they can say more about what they are feeling and why. Give the person hope for recovery by reassuring them that people with BPD can and do get better. Accept that the person is struggling and that life goals might need to be broken down into smaller steps.

How do you calm someone with BPD?

Listening to your loved one and acknowledging their feelings is one of the best ways to help someone with BPD calm down. When you appreciate how a borderline person hears you and adjust how you communicate with them, you can help diffuse the attacks and rages and build a stronger, closer relationship.

Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.


Do borderlines have remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

What triggers a person with borderline personality disorder?

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

What are the 9 criteria for BPD?

The 9 symptoms of BPD
  • Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
  • Unstable relationships. ...
  • Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
  • Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
  • Self-harm. ...
  • Extreme emotional swings. ...
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
  • Explosive anger.


Does someone with BPD know they have BPD?

But what makes the condition even harder is that many people who live with Borderline Personality Disorder don't even know they have it. BPD is one of the most commonly misdiagnosed mental health conditions. It's so misdiagnosed, in fact, that there isn't even an accurate prevalence rate for the condition.

Which celebrities have BPD?

Celebrities That Have Borderline Personality Disorder
  • Pete Davidson. Pete Davidson is a comedian on Saturday Night Live. ...
  • Brandon Marshall. Brandon Marshall is an NFL wide receiver that has been very vocal about his BPD diagnosis. ...
  • Darrell Hammond. ...
  • Marsha M. ...
  • Ricky Williams. ...
  • Mikey Welsh. ...
  • Vincent van Gogh. ...
  • Conclusion.


What do you say to a quiet BPD person?

Helping Someone Cope With Quiet BPD
  • Listen and be sympathetic. ...
  • Ask questions. ...
  • Validate their feelings. ...
  • Help them practice self-soothing strategies. ...
  • Set healthy boundaries. ...
  • Consider making a family therapy appointment. ...
  • Encourage them to use mindfulness techniques. ...
  • Celebrate smaller wins.


What do you say to someone with BPD in crisis?

Things you can say or do to help a person in crisis:
  • Acknowledge their feelings.
  • Witness their process.
  • Affirm their right to speak.
  • Validate their emotional experience.
  • Listen without judgement and be sensitive.
  • Allow them to process what is going on.
  • Let them cry.


How do you stop a borderline personality argument?

How to survive an argument with someone with BPD
  1. Genuinely try to listen. ...
  2. Validate their feelings, not their behaviours. ...
  3. See their inner child. ...
  4. Setting kind but firm boundaries. ...
  5. Honour yourself. ...
  6. Be specific. ...
  7. Be open. ...
  8. Suggest alternatives.


How do you stop a BPD episode?

If you suffer from borderline personality disorder, here are some ways to help cope with the symptoms that can lead to or trigger an episode:
  1. Take a warm shower or bath.
  2. Play music that relaxes you.
  3. Engage in a physical activity.
  4. Do brain teasers or problem-solving activities.
  5. Talk to a sympathetic loved one.


What is borderline rage?

Intense and sometimes inappropriate rage is a characteristic of borderline personality disorder (BPD). A person with this condition has difficulty regulating their emotions or returning to their baseline. Extremes of rage and other intense emotions may last longer than might be expected, from a few hours to a few days.

Why do borderlines push you away?

If someone has a borderline personality, they will always push people away, in fear of getting hurt. This is extremely difficult and painful for the people around them, as the sufferer can seem cold and angry, attention seeking, or not wanting help.

What is it like talking to someone with BPD?

1 Their moods can be volatile and intense, and it may be hard to control anger. 1 In addition, people with BPD may feel like they're being abandoned at the smallest slight, and these feelings are very real. This can trigger an emotional reaction that interferes with healthy communication.


How do people with BPD react in relationships?

People with BPD often have patterns of intense or unstable relationships. This may involve a shift from extreme adoration to extreme dislike, known as a shift from idealization to devaluation. Relationships may be marked by attempts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

Do people with BPD struggle with intimacy?

People with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them. However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships. The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation.