What does the term flying monkey mean?

12 Mar, 2022. FLYING MONKEY is a popular psychology term that refers to an enabler of a highly narcissistic person or someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). A flying monkey is an agent who acts on their behalf.


How do you respond to a flying monkey?

Grey rock — show no emotion and give the flying monkeys little to work with. Be willing to walk away if you feel yourself getting emotional in the face of the abuse. Surround yourself with the types of people who can help you. Document everything.

What does the term flying monkeys mean when dealing with a narcissist?

When the narcissist wants to evoke some punishment on a target they dispatch their henchmen (aka flying monkeys) to do their bidding. Unfortunately, this can and often does include abusive behavior such as guilt-tripping, twisting the truth, gaslighting, assaults, threats, and violence.


How can you tell if a narcissist is a flying monkey?

How to Spot Flying Monkeys
  1. Gossiping: Flying monkeys benefit narcissists by spreading rumors and lies about others. ...
  2. Surveillance: Another major help flying monkeys provide for abusers is surveillance. ...
  3. Gaslighting and victim-blaming: Flying monkeys are fiercely loyal to narcissists.


Do flying monkeys ever turn on the narcissist?

If the flying monkey is another narcissist, they most often will try to turn the tables on the first narcissist in order to depose them and take their place. This may also occur with an antisocial personality if they can benefit from doing so. Otherwise, they may just break ties with the narcissist and move on.


What are "flying monkeys"? (Glossary of Narcissistic Relationships)



How do you outsmart a flying monkey?

How to fend off narcissistic flying monkeys
  1. Hold on to your own reality. ...
  2. Invite some non-gaslighters into your life. ...
  3. Disengage from the narcissist and their enablers or flying monkeys. ...
  4. Consider therapy. ...
  5. Stop giving the benefit of the doubt and the second chances.


What kind of people become flying monkeys?

These monkeys were sent by the witch to do her dirty work, and the phrase has since become synonymous with people who end up doing the dirty work of a narcissist. Flying monkeys get caught up in a narcissist's plan — often to damage the life of another person.

Why do people become flying monkeys?

Researchers identified several reasons why people become flying monkeys to narcissists. These involve: A need for self-preservation and protection – this often happens when a flying monkey is afraid or intimidated by the narcissist and would rather be on the ”good side” of the narc rather than go against them.


What is future faking in a relationship?

"Future faking is when someone uses a detailed vision of the future to facilitate the bonding and connection in a romantic relationship," Greg Kushnick, PsyD, a psychologist based in New York City, told Health. It's generally something narcissists do, added Dr.

What are the top five traits of a narcissist?

Common Narcissist Characteristics
  • Inflated Ego.
  • Lack of Empathy.
  • Need for Attention.
  • Repressed Insecurities.
  • Few Boundaries.


How do you know a narcissist is devaluing you?

Narcissists will make you question everything about yourself, including the people around you and your sanity. It includes statements like, “There's something wrong with you,” “Everybody's worried about your state of mind,” “That's not what happened,” and “You're crazy”.


What is the body language of a narcissist?

Narcissists tend to display exaggerated body language and facial expressions. The 1990 study on conversational narcissism also found that narcissists tend to be overly dramatic in their hand gestures and facial expressions. They may also speak in a loud tone of voice.

How do you silence a narcissist?

The following are 16 key phrases to disarm a narcissist:
  1. 1. “ ...
  2. “I Can't Control How You Feel About Me” ...
  3. “I Hear What You're Saying” ...
  4. “I'm Sorry You Feel That Way” ...
  5. “Everything Is Okay” ...
  6. “We Both Have a Right to Our Own Opinions” ...
  7. “I Can Accept How You Feel” ...
  8. “I Don't Like How You're Speaking to Me so I Will not Engage”


Who is the leader of the flying monkeys?

Nikko. Nikko is the leader of the Flying Monkeys and the secondary antagonist in the 1939 MGM film The Wizard of Oz. He is the movie version of the character called the Monkey King in L.


Should you block flying monkeys?

Use extreme caution when approaching a flying monkey, never give any information that they could feedback to the narcissist, it may be better to unfriend or block them on social media rather than allow them to give spy intel to the narcissist.

What is hoovering narcissist?

What is Hoovering? Hoovering is a manipulation strategy narcissists use to keep their victims in or suck them back into a toxic relationship. Narcissists use this type of emotional abuse when they sense that their victim is seeking to pull out of the narcissistic abuse cycle.

What is stonewalling in a relationship?

What does it mean to stonewall someone? In simple terms, stonewalling is when someone completely shuts down in a conversation or refuses to interact with another person.


What is Breadcrumbing narcissism?

Breadcrumbing is the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal social signals (i.e. "breadcrumbs") in order to lure a romantic partner in without expending much effort. In other words, it's leading someone on.

How does a narcissist react when they can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.

How do flying monkeys feel?

Flying monkeys often have strong narcissistic traits themselves, including a desire for attention, a lack of empathy, and a desire to bully and manipulate others.


How do you protect yourself from flying monkeys?

The best way to protect yourself from a flying monkey is to restrain yourself from engaging in meaningful interactions with them. You can do this through techniques such as the Gray Rock Method, Yellow Rock Method, Firewall Method, Low Contact Method, or No Contact Method.

How narcissists recruit flying monkeys?

They recruit through contacting family members, friends, work colleagues. Sometimes even threaten the victim – 'I'm going to tell them what you're really like! ' – in other words, I'm going to tell them a version of you that is really not accurate at all but paints you in a bad light.

What is narcissist word salad?

The narcissist sees themselves as the eternal victim. They will consistently make excuses, blame others for their actions or deny it ever happened. These word salad conversations are designed to punish you for calling them out and will continue until you give up and accept that they were right all along.


When you ignore a flying monkey?

The flying monkey lives to serve the narcissist. So when you are ignoring them, and their job is to get as much intel from you as possible, they fail the narcissistic leader in their life. When you ignore the flying monkey, you are legit taking away their purpose. You are taking away their meaning for living.

What words not to say to a narcissist?

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."