What not to do when someone dies?

When someone dies, avoid rushing major decisions (financial, funeral), touching or removing belongings immediately (except perishables), making insensitive comments (e.g., "better place," "at least they lived long"), speaking ill of the deceased, or ignoring your own needs; instead, pause, secure valuables, consult professionals (lawyer, estate planner), and prioritize self-care while allowing space for others to grieve.

Why shouldn't you always tell your bank when someone dies?

Every estate lawyer will tell you to NOT advise the bank that your relative (spouse , parent, child, whomever) with whom you share an account died. Why? Because that account will immediately be frozen so that the tax authorities can be alerted.

What are common obituary mistakes to avoid?

Common Mistakes to Avoid when Writing an Obituary

• Avoid Making the Obituary About You. ...
• Don't Focus Just on Death. ...
• Listing People Who Were Appreciated. ...
• Avoid Clichés. ...
• Abbreviations. ...
• Don't Over Describe the Funeral.

What is the 40 day rule after death?

The 40-day rule after death, prevalent in Eastern Orthodox Christianity and some other traditions (like Coptic, Syriac Orthodox), marks a significant period where the soul journeys to its final judgment, completing a spiritual transition from Earth to the afterlife, often involving prayers, memorial services (like the 'sorokoust' in Orthodoxy), and rituals to help the departed soul, symbolizing hope and transformation, much like Christ's 40 days before Ascension, though its interpretation varies by faith, with some Islamic views seeing it as cultural rather than strictly religious. 

What needs to be canceled when someone dies?

When someone dies, you need to cancel various accounts and subscriptions, including financial institutions (banks, credit cards, credit bureaus), government agencies (SSA, DMV, VA), utilities & services (phone, internet, home services, newspapers), insurance policies, and digital accounts (social media, email, streaming) to prevent fraud and stop recurring charges, using certified copies of the death certificate for most notifications. 

What Not to Say to Someone Facing the End of Life

Can I withdraw money from a deceased person's bank account?

You generally cannot just withdraw money from a deceased person's account unless you're a joint owner or designated beneficiary (POD/TOD); otherwise, you'll need legal documents like the death certificate, ID, and possibly probate court orders (executor/administrator) to prove your right to access funds, as banks usually freeze the account after being notified of the death to prevent fraud. Trying to take money without authorization is illegal, even with a Power of Attorney, which ends at death. 

What are the 3 C's of death?

The Three C's are the primary worries children have when someone dies: Cause, Contagion, and Care. These concerns reflect how children understand death at different developmental stages.

Why is the 9th day after death important?

The 9th day after death holds deep spiritual significance in many traditions, especially Orthodox Christianity and Filipino culture, marking the soul's journey to God, often linked to the nine orders of angels, where prayers and commemorations (like novenas or 'pasiyam') help guide the soul to find its place before judgment, offering comfort and hope that death is a transition, not an end, with rituals supporting the deceased's path and comforting the living.
 

What is the hardest death to grieve?

The death of a husband or wife is well recognized as an emotionally devastating event, being ranked on life event scales as the most stressful of all possible losses.

How long after someone dies should you get rid of their clothes?

There's no set timeline for getting rid of a loved one's clothes; it's entirely personal, ranging from days to years, depending on your grief stage, but many experts suggest waiting several months or even up to a year before deciding, to allow for emotional processing, often keeping sentimental items or making keepsakes. The best time is when you feel emotionally ready and capable, not when someone else says you should. 

What three colors should you not wear to a funeral?

You should generally never wear red, bright pink, orange, or yellow to a funeral, as these vibrant colors draw attention and are seen as inappropriate for solemn occasions; stick to traditional dark, subdued colors like black, navy, or gray to show respect and avoid distracting from the deceased. The goal is to blend in, not stand out, so avoid anything flashy or overly casual. 

What should you never put in an obituary?

Names of Young or Vulnerable Family Members

While acknowledging the surviving family members is part of writing an obituary, you should avoid including the names of young or particularly vulnerable family members. Listing their full names puts them at risk for harassment or exploitation.

What funeral directors don't want you to know?

Funeral directors don't want you to know you have significant choices to save money and control the service, such as buying caskets from other retailers, handling arrangements yourself (like using your home for services), and that embalming isn't always legally required, especially for cremation or quick burials, and refrigeration can be used instead. Key secrets include that funeral homes are businesses, you don't need package deals, sealed caskets don't truly preserve bodies, and you can request specific services like a rental casket insert for viewings.
 

Can I use my mom's bank account after she dies?

Key takeaways. Bank accounts with named beneficiaries transfer directly to those people with just a death certificate and ID. Joint accounts with survivorship rights automatically belong to the surviving owner. Accounts without beneficiaries or joint owners go through probate court, which can take months.

Who does Social Security notify when someone dies?

Social Security and Medicare

The funeral director should report the death to the Social Security Administration (SSA) for you. If they do not, you must do this as soon as possible. SSA will notify Medicare. Any Social Security benefits the person was receiving will stop.

How does a bank know someone has died?

Banks typically learn a customer has died when family/executors notify them, often with a death certificate, but also through Social Security death reports, obituary scans, or when accounts go dormant/have stopped direct deposits, flagging them for review, with processes involving death certificates and court orders for estate access. 

When a loved one dies, do they visit you?

Whether deceased loved ones "visit" after death depends on personal beliefs, but many people report comforting experiences like dreams, sensing presence, or seeing signs (like specific animals or objects), while some spiritual views and religions believe souls can interact or watch over the living, offering comfort in grief, though other beliefs hold that communication ceases after death.
 

What is a nice gesture when someone dies?

It is best to give gifts that are comforting and practical. Meal delivery, home services, blankets, candles, and gestures like memorial gardens and cremation keepsakes are often welcome.

What is the hardest time after someone dies?

The grieving process doesn't look the same for everyone, and pinpointing the worst part may not always be possible. Most people experience peak grief-related distress within six months of their loss, but this period can last far longer in others.

How many days does a soul stay after death?

The time a soul stays after death varies greatly by belief, with traditions like Judaism suggesting 3-7 days (Shiva) for mourning and wandering, while Eastern Orthodox Christianity and some Islamic beliefs mention a significant 40-day journey for trials before the final destination. Some modern interpretations suggest spirits linger longer, potentially for weeks or months, due to attachment or unfinished business, while other Christian views hold that a believer's soul goes immediately to be with God. 

What is a dead yard?

Rather than a traditional wake with mourning, the Jamaican culture celebrates the deceased through Nine-Night, also known as Dead Yard or Set-up. It's a celebration on the ninth night after the deceased has passed away with food, white rum, dancing, music, and sharing stories.

Why is the day of death better than the day of birth?

Since the day of a believer's death is his time of triumph and of victory, it is better than the day of the first shot— the day of one's birth. When we were born we set out on our journey; but when we die we end our weary march in the Father's house above.

What not to do when grieving?

Do not try to self-medicate your emotional pain away. Trying to dull the pain you're feeling with alcohol or drug use is a losing proposition. The “grieving process” is described as a process for a reason; it requires certain courses of action to achieve a result.

Does crying help process grief?

Yes, crying is very good and healthy for grief; it's a natural release for stress hormones, helps regulate emotions, promotes healing, and signals to others that you need support, though the way you grieve (crying or otherwise) is personal, and some people cry less or need different outlets. Crying releases feel-good hormones (endorphins), calms your body after initial stress, and helps you process the intense pain of loss, making it a vital part of mourning, not a sign of weakness.
 

What are the 5 stages of dying?

The 5 stages of dying, famously described by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance (DABDA), representing common emotional responses to terminal illness, though they aren't necessarily linear and individuals may experience them differently or not at all, serving as a framework for understanding end-of-life experiences rather than strict rules.