Why do narcissist want to hurt you?

Narcissists can't independently feel good about themselves and require you to feel bad about yourselves for them to prove they are the grandiose person they present to the world. In short, narcissists hurt you to feel better about themselves.


Why do narcs want to destroy you?

Retaliation is a way for narcissists to inflict tangible damage on the victim – whether it involves an assault on their privacy, their good name, their work, their future relationships or friendships, the narcissist seeks revenge to punish you and reestablish control over you.

Why do narcissists abuse you?

Narcissists use put-downs and insults to ensure that their victims never trust their own judgment. Verbal abuse is used to belittle or degrade the other person, though it can often be subtle.


How do you stop a narcissist from hurting you?

  1. Educate yourself about NPD. ...
  2. Build your self-esteem. ...
  3. Speak up for yourself. ...
  4. Set clear boundaries. ...
  5. Practice skills to keep calm. ...
  6. Find a support system. ...
  7. Insist on immediate action, not promises. ...
  8. Understand that a narcissistic person may need professional help.


Does a narcissist like to hurt you?

Sometimes, the narcissist doesn't mean to hurt you. Being sensitive to everything is just how their brains work. And if they are — by their own logic — being attacked, they will bite back even harder. However, by their nature, they may also want to hurt you too, because it makes them feel superior.


The Simple Reason Why Narcissists Have to Hurt You



What happens when a narcissist can't control you?

Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.

How does a narcissist act when hurt?

They are afraid of painful emotions and narcissists have a strong need to control these feelings. They act as they do as a defense mechanism to prevent themselves from feeling emotional pain. They may feel inferior, so they act superior, they feel undesirable, so they act confident.

What will make a narcissist mad?

8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage
  • They don't get their way, even if what they want is unreasonable.
  • They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly.
  • They're not the center of attention.
  • They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries.


How do you shut down a narcissist?

The following are 16 key phrases to disarm a narcissist:
  1. 1. “ ...
  2. “I Can't Control How You Feel About Me” ...
  3. “I Hear What You're Saying” ...
  4. “I'm Sorry You Feel That Way” ...
  5. “Everything Is Okay” ...
  6. “We Both Have a Right to Our Own Opinions” ...
  7. “I Can Accept How You Feel” ...
  8. “I Don't Like How You're Speaking to Me so I Will not Engage”


How do you get rid of the power of a narcissist?

Disconnect from the narcissist's emotional energy. Be vague and don't argue back: “That's interesting.” “I understand how you feel.” Sometimes no response is very powerful and will upset them. Insist on calm, respectful tone and words. Leave if they become angry.

Why do narcissists mistreat people?

According to Tanya, “Narcissistic abuse is about power and control,” which “can be verbal, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, and/or physical.” Often, a Narcissist suffers from feeling a lack of control in their life, so they try to control the people around them.


Do narcissists realize they are abusive?

They Are Aware of Some Behaviors

It would be unwise to assume that narcissists don't know their own behavior. In short, most do, especially as they get older. They likely know when they're being deceitful, manipulative, abusive, and love-bombing people.

How do victims of narcissists behave?

Anxiety and depression commonly develop as a result of narcissistic abuse. The significant stress you face can trigger persistent feelings of worry, nervousness, and fear, especially when you never know what to expect from their behavior.

What is a narcissistic collapse?

Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.


How do narcissists demean you?

“Traits of a narcissistic sociopath – They'll insult, belittle and criticize you (sometimes in a teasing/joking way), pushing your boundries until you finally speak up. Then they use your reactions to make you seem crazy. Within weeks, they can turn an easy-going person into a hot mess of insecurities and self-doubt.”

How do you gain control over a narcissist?

Take these steps to handle a narcissist:
  1. Educateyourself. Find out more about the disorder. It can help you understand the narcissist's strengths and weaknesses and learn how to handle them better. ...
  2. Create boundaries. Be clear about your boundaries. ...
  3. Speak up for yourself. When you need something, be clear and concise.


What words not to say to a narcissist?

8 Things You Should Never Say to a Narcissist
  • Don't say, "It's not about you." ...
  • Don't say, "You're not listening." ...
  • Don't say, "Ina Garten did not get her lasagna recipe from you." ...
  • Don't say, "Do you think it might be your fault?" ...
  • Don't say, "You're being a bully." ...
  • Don't say, "Stop playing the victim."


How do you make a narcissist miserable?

How to Make a Narcissist Miserable: 12 Things They Can't Stand
  1. Ignore them.
  2. Act indifferent toward them.
  3. Tell them how happy you are.
  4. Speak in facts, not emotions.
  5. Set boundaries and stick to them.
  6. Tell them no.
  7. Give them an ultimatum for commitment.
  8. Push them to answer to authority.


What is threatening to a narcissist?

Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack—especially those who are confident and popular. They're also threatened by people who don't kowtow to them or who challenge them in any way. Their defense mechanism is contempt.

How do you trigger a narcissistic rage?

What Triggers a Narcissist?
  1. Getting caught doing something dishonest or mean.
  2. Being held accountable for their actions.
  3. Not being the center of attention.
  4. Any form of criticism — no matter how constructive or accurate.
  5. Being exposed as a manipulator or liar.
  6. A sense of not being in control.


What are the red flags of a narcissist?

Self-importance

Engaging in a whirlwind romance. Lacking compassion or a severe lack of empathy for others. Love bombing. An inability to maintain connections, such as with friends, colleagues and family members.

Do narcissists get jealous?

They get jealous about everything

They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.

When a narcissist seeks revenge?

Retaliation is a way for narcissists to inflict tangible damage on the victim – whether it involves an assault on their privacy, their good name, their work, their future relationships or friendships, the narcissist seeks revenge to punish you and reestablish control over you.


Why can't narcissist let you go?

Additionally, if it wasn't their decision to leave, they cannot tolerate rejection. Due to their underlying shame and insecurity, they find it humiliating. Rather than accept you “quit,” they go on the offense and “fire” you.